Tuesday, November 30, 2004


Hey! I actually made progress tonight. I edited the end sequence while J held one-on-one rehearsal sessions for the play he's directing (The Laramie Project, btw...I'm bitter but that's a whole 'nother entry)...it was good but I felt weird being in the same (albeit gigantic) space as the actors working on their monologues...oh well...

I am actually now REALLY close to being done with the end 6 camera sequence and I am PSYCHED!!

Tomorrow I will work again - and then I must watch Rudolph - I'll probably have to tape it though and watch it later...that works...

Okay - off to work on my Christmas cards...did I tell you how sweet the boy is? He went to not one, but two craft stores last night to buy some embossing ink for me. I could just squish that boy. :-)

Isolation, Day 1

Well, we separated the cats last night. Boy that was fun. Iko is in the den - where I am now - upstairs...little room with futon, window to the world, computer, tv (not that he watches tv, but you know) and the Boy's dresser/assorted craft supplies and Statler & Waldorf AND The Electric Mayhem (if you don't know what I'm talking about shame on you and go watch THE MUPPET SHOW).

Beavis is down in the kitchen - we've rigged up a couple of doors to block off the kitchen from the dining room...it's okay. It looks G-H-E-T-T-O but whatever. They both looked so totally confused and sad last night when we locked them away - like...what did I do wrong? It was so sad...broke my heart.

This morning they were doing okay - I heard Iko meowing when I was in the bathroom getting ready for work and when I went downstairs to the kitchen, Beavis was ready and waiting for some love and attention. *sigh* We have to keep this up for 1 to 2 weeks...and the vet wants weekly update calls to see how it's going - argh!

Anyhoo - so far so good...this afternoon they both seem a bit mellower and calmed down like maybe they're getting used to it...they don't like it but they're adjusting. That's good.

Okay- time to go edit...


Saturday, November 27, 2004

No News

Well, the vet visit was pretty inconclusive. Neither cat had enough urine in their bladders to withdraw any so we left them there for the afternoon until they did. The alternative was to bring home "beads" for them to pee on, then wait til they each used separate litter boxes, then drained the urine off the beads, then took it into the vet...or pay $15. We paid $15. They were both SUPER crabby at us when we picked them up. Oh my....the next step is to separate them each into one section of the house and slowly re-introduce them back into the household and to each other. They will be apart for at least a month. Our house is not really designed with this in mind so it could be quite tricky. *sigh* We're waiting til after the weekend though to implement this.

We went to THE INCREDIBLES tonight and it was awesome! I loved it. It was so fun to see somehing really good in the theatre. It had been too long. The animation was great; the story was fun; everything was right on. The Boy was hesitant at first about seeing "a cartoon" but throughly enjoyed himself and was glad we went. Yay!

Tomorrow we head down to Austin for more turkey and fixin's....and tomorrow night a Martin Zellar concert at the Historic Paramount Theatre with my sister & bro-in-law...should be fun...

And now - since the apple pie is freshly baked and cooling on the counter....it is time to retire for the evening....

Friday, November 26, 2004

The Vet

This morning at 10am the cats are going into the vet. We have to get to the bottom of this vile and nasty spraying habit and put an end to it (no, we're not having the cats put down. I am amazed at the number of people who have asked me that). There actually could be a medical reason for this continued problem but I do fear it's behavioral which means they need counseling or prozac or something (ha ha I wish I was kidding). They can be so sweet and wonderful and bring us so much joy and on the other hand we're tearing our hair out because they're ruining the house!!


After the vet...I'm doing CRAFTS all day long. :-) And watching Dr. Phil, naturally....heh heh...

Thursday, November 25, 2004


...for having met and fell in love with an amazing man.

...for my Dad's continuing recover.

...for my incredibly supportive, quirky, fun, loving family.

...for the roof over my head, the food on my plate, and the love in my heart.

...for my furry friends, no matter how frustrating they can be.

...for the opportunity to live, learn, grow, create, dream, inspire and be.

...for so many things that I would be typing forever. I am truly blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


Sometimes I forget to look at the lake.

It�s right there in front of me. I drive past the bay every day. I park on the bay every day. I �see� the lake from a multitude of vantage points throughout the city�.every day. Yet I don�t look at it; I don�t draw strength or inspiration or stillness from it. I don�t appreciate it. I take it for granted�just about every day.

I get caught up in myself a lot. Worrying about what I�m doing with my life and wondering when I�m going to get over the �I just have to wai til X happens before I make a change.�

X is never going to happen.

Logically I know it�s not going to happen. Whatever �X� is. If it is making a film that brings me fame and money�.if it�s letting go of my �dreams� of being an actor/entertaining people and being able to live off of that�.if it�s just feeling content and happy with myself and what I�ve done and who I�ve become in my life. I�m sick of thinking about it and yet it consumes me every day.

Why can�t I find happiness? For the first time in my (adult) life I feel like things are going in the right direction � I bought a house, I met a fantastic guy, I am digging out of the massive movie-debt�things are going good, right? But what am I DOING with my life? Who am I helping? Inspiring? Nuturing? What is my point? I work at a job every day that is okay � I like the people I work for/with, the work is sometimes fun and stimulating � but most of the time I�m bored outta my gourd and I�m not doing anything. I�m not making those great pieces of art (whatever those are); I�m not singing; I�m not performing; I�m not even contributing to help the world in any way shape or form and that leaves me with profound guilt and sadness.

Argh � this post has turned into a jumble of a bunch of different thoughts that I�ve been trying to process and now sit here in giant incomprehensible heap. The thing is I�m sad. I�m disheartened. I don�t know what to do.

And it�s Thanksgiving � a time to be grateful�and I am but I just think there is more for me out there�.something I should be doing. What is it?!?

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Part of Thanksgiving

via Fig and Plum

You Are Pumpkin Pie

Even when people are full - they make room for you.
Good or bad, your smell is most likely to arouse a man.

Monday, November 22, 2004


Eh, the past few days have been....eh.

Weekend was sort of a lame one...well in the "fun" department, anyway. Friday night I worked on the film; Saturday morning went to a wedding/brunch...which was fine but odd to be ordering a drink at 10:45am...(mimosa but still)...that afternoon from about 4pm til 2am I worked on the film. Sunday - 11am worked on the film. I was getting extremely frustrated with just....I don't know - being inside all day, being exhausted, being worried about the film not being any good - by 6pm I was antsy as hell. I seriously felt the walls closing in and like I was going to lose it. On the verge of tears again and again - for what? I honestly don't know.

After I got home last night, the Boy and I worked on the plumbing situation - mostly him...I did things like hold a bucket, turn on the house, etc. After much high pressure hosing, plunging, cursing and then snaking - we got an incredibly disgusting hair ball (seriously - guinea pig sized...okay - small guinea pig) out of the pipe!!! Oh my god I wanted to throw up just looking at it...I think if it had been there any longer it would've started growing teeth and nails and eventually crawled out of the drain to kill us. Needless to say - we were OVERJOYED to watch the water flow freely down the drain in the tub. My shower kicked ass this morning. Unfortunately that didn't fix the hole in the ceiling...we'll get to it, I'm confident.

Today at work - well, I was just depressed I guess. I was stressed because I didn't have a b-day present for my boss...things like this stress me out...so I went at lunchtime and found a campy calendar - a "moniker" calendar that had a photo each month of a place like...."Dan's Pub" "Danny's Pizza" - etc...I thought it was kinda cute...spent too much on it and was satisfied. Well, at 2pm - official "birthday party" time rolled around - he was crabby. Didn't want to have cake, was embarrassed that we make a big deal out his birthday but no one else's (but it's what I do...take care of my boss!!)...anyway - I think he thought the gift was dumb, I didn't get thanked for it (which is highly out of character) ; people came up to me afterwards (late, naturally) bitching because nothing was left; and other people were annoyed because I didn't send an email out early enough and I'VE HAD IT!! No more doing nice things for people because nothing is ever good enough, or enough, or thoughtful enough, or the 'right' thing ARRRRRGGGGHHHH - needless to say, it put me in a CRAP-PY mood. *sigh*

The Boy says "hi," btw....he is here folding clothes right now and asking me if I'm going to write about how annoying he is. Which of course he isn't. He's just simply wonderful and that's all there is to it.

Anyway - a trip to Michael's for Christmas crafts lifted my spirits...and although we didn't eat until 8:30 or so...it was pork chops on the grill (grilling in November in Duluth - yippee!) so it made up for the lateness....

And now - Angels & Demons is calling my name so I must go...and get to bed early tonight. I'll be editing again tomorrow and should take advantage of it when I can.

Oh -
I'd like to know how to post pictures to this site as I'm about to start making some crafty things for Christmas gifts....mosaic candle holders, personalized mini-journals and the ever-popular - marble magnets in altoid tins....Maybe no one cares but I think it might be fun to show some of my work. Oh - I'm also designing my Christmas card yet again...and this year it WON'T involve making teeny tiny little Christmas trees out of far to thick of gauge wire.


Thursday, November 18, 2004

Angels & Demons

So I'm a little behind...so what?

I started reading Angels and Demons today and I am HOOKED!!! I'm obsessed. It's exactly what I like to read. I'm tearing through it...I am not posting much because I have to READ.

I'm so excited to delve further into the tale...(and then on to The DaVinci Code)

BTW, just saw a cool thing on Entertainment Tonight (of all god awful things)...U2 singing The Beatles..."Rain" at the opening of the Clinton Library.

Love that stuff. (ie: U2, the Beatles, and yes, Bill Clinton)

Tuesday, November 16, 2004


Ugh. Haven't had a migraine for over a year and whammo - one hit today. It started with an annoying headache in the back of my neck/head. I was fine though, managing even though I was incredibly sleepy and out of it from a later-than-usual-Monday night involving 25 oz beers (hey same price as a pint), the Independent Feature Project Minneapolis/St. Paul, grants worth $25k and good conversation/networking....but I digress.

By 12:15 I was in agony...nauseas, in major pain, unable to see or focus...it was gross. And unfortunately I couldn't bail from work because I had to finish a presentation for my boss...which of course I was waiting on the information for. I went to lunch, called J and asked him to call me in 40 minutes and proceeded to curl up in the fetal position on the couch. I sorta slept...sorta just layed there...Beavis was meowing for attention the whole time which was quite annoying...when the phone call came I didn't feel any better but my hair was a total sleeping-freak-out-disaster. Oh well. I went back to work for about and hour and ten more minutes, finished the presentation, managed not to throw up and came home.

I comforted myself with homemade mac & cheese (after a while...I finally got hungry), Dr. Phil and my book....I'm feeling mostly better now...after many hours on the couch but still exhausted and have a deep rooted headache. At least I can see and the nausea has subsided.

I'm hoping tomorrow is a whole lot better. We have a self-imposed film deadline for Friday and that is coming all too quickly....

Friday, November 12, 2004


Yipee! It's Friday. This week has seemed LONG. Ugh.

Tonight after work I had an eye appointment...and my eyes get a clear bill of health! Yipee! No more infiltrates...or receding ones...or fewer ones or whatever... He said my astigmatism is improving (?) as I can now actually see 20/20 with my new contacts in. Hooray! Did I mention that already?

Then I got sucked into the $1 Spot at Target. OMG...they actually have some cute and clever little things there. I stocked up on all sorts of things I don't need and aren't in this week's budget but I couldn't help myself. These things will make great gift additions to the "mini-baskets" I plan on giving out this year to my friends.

Tonight - exciting - making pork chop potato bake for dinner; then laundry, laundry, laundry, clean the bathrooms, make engagement card for A&J (the boy's sis and fiance) and drink a few beers. Tomorrow morning I'M SLEEPING IN. :-)

Happy Weekend everyone!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Broken Sidewalk

So....the city came through the alley this week - tearing up this and that. The Boy inquired as to what they were doing. Running a new gas line. Since we don't have gas service to the house (fuel oil furnace - ugh) we decided to have them do it. They're there. It's free. If the furnace goes kaput in the dead of winter, we'd have to pay to thaw out the ground. That is just not cool. Anyway - so they tore up bits of the yard this week and put in the line. They told the Boy that they'd fix everything, put it back to how it was.

Today I go outside after getting home (in the dark - ugh!) and what do a see? A misshappen bit of earth still sits where they dug a hole next to the garage. Piles of sod - not big but still...sod should not be in piles. And they drove over the little sidewalk with the trencher and broke a square as well as made two squares, which were formerly perfectly flat and lined up, askew. They said they would re-pour it tomorrow (which is today). Well, the holes in the alley have been re-poured and fixed. There was no sign of machine, crew or leftover construction gear for tomorrow...just a pile of sod and a broken cement sidewalk in my yard. Huff. I'm not happy.

I guess I will have to call the city tomorrow and remember that NOTHING is free. Nothing.


Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Can't Stand IT

Okay - while standing in the kitchen, bemoaning the fact that I had just banished Beavis to the basement, Iko stepped into his litter box (now in the kitchen) and started peeing...then lifted his tail and SPRAYED the edge of the litter box, the kitchen floor and the wall.

I want to hang myself.

I don't know what to do.

Needless to say Beavis is out of confinement as that is just not a worthwhile option at this rate.

(note the time - a mere 29 minutes after the last g.d. post!!!)

No Comment

I'm so annoyed. Beavis sprayed again. Just now. Here, in the den. Right in front of us. He got the Boy's dresser - no, that's not disgusting and annoying. I have been reading and trying to learn everything I can about this disgusting....behavior. The latest thing I'm doing is confining Beavis to the basement with bedding, litter box (2 actually) and food/water. I'm heartbroken as he sleeps with me every night but I can't take it any longer. This confinement was the latest suggestion from a Vet Tech class. Iko is spraying too - but we don't know when/where exactly. I have to take them to the vet and see about getting tests run and possibly putting them on anti-anxiety medication. GREAT....a prescription for my pet. I can barely afford my own prescriptions. Man, this sucks.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Aurora Borealis

I saw the most amazing Northern Lights the other night. On Sunday I was driving back to Duluth from Austin (basically straight north) and after passing through the Twin Cities (you know, Minneapolis/St. Paul - I go through St. Paul) it gets dark. Real dark. I was tooling along - singing to a really kick ass Ben Folds mix and then something caught my eye - OMG - so beautiful. There were colors - blue and green - sliding down the sky like a can of spilled paint; there were streams of light dancing around from east to west and back again. It was the most spectacular display I've ever seen. Typically the northern lights sort of shimmer and look eerie in the sky - these looked like fireworks by comparison (okay - that's quite liberal but whatever. They were awesome).

I called the Boy, I called J, I called other friends to tell them to get outside and see them. The Boy saw red ones in Duluth - damn, I missed the red ones!

Anyway - tonight they are supposed to be even MORE spectacular. More colorful, more dancing around. So I must go now...go in search of the lights. They haven't been this active in 70 years - and I doubt I'll be around in 70 more years so I'm off!!


He's doing good - emailed me today and already cashed a check I gave him on Sunday! Progress! He still has bad headaches and is a little bit in slow motion but it sooooo good to see him getting back to normal. Yipee!!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


The thought of Bush taking Minnesota makes me sick to my stomach.


Not giving up just yet...just sayin'....

I voted!

Just got back from dumping my kitchen compost at the city compost pile and voting! Hmmm...I wonder which side of the aisle I land on. I felt great. This was the first time I voted for President at the polls. I typically have voted absentee due to being in CA or whatever. I have voted for other races in person but this is the first "biggie." I was very excited and proud to be casting my ballot today. I was #1002 at my polling place. I have no idea if that is a lot or not for my location. I do know that there were CRAPLOADS of people there registering to vote and I overheard some "first-time-ever" voters too. It's very exciting to see the democratic process in progress. I'll be sure to be tuning in for hours upon hours tonight and flipping between all the news channels.....It's exciting, it's scary, it's time for change.

The only thing I'm annoyed about - all 3 times I've actually gone to the polls to vote - I have been DENIED my red "I voted" sticker!! This really bums me out! Why is that?! I've changed poll locations even so I know it's just not ONE poll here in Duluth being denied....is it me?!?

Not much new on the Dad update today. I did talk to him today - first time since last Sunday. He sounded kinda out of it but was coherent - he asked me if I have voted yet, asked about the Halloween party, etc. I told him how many trick-or-treaters we had and he said he thought that was more than what he had last year so that's good - he's remembering things like that for sure. He asked how Steve was doing too. He had his 2nd angiogram today - got back to his room about 1pm or so so when I talked to him about 2 they didn't really know anything yet. I'll probably call my Mom again in a while.

Now if you haven't done so yet - GO VOTE!!!!!

Monday, November 01, 2004

November 1st

Well, the Halloween party was a success! Probably 25 or so people came and went through the evening. The food was gobbled up, the beverages were flowing, the costumes were very creative and fun. I think all and all everyone really enjoyed themselves. It was great to see friends that I hadn't seen in YEARS and to meet some new people too.

Unfortunately, my guest bathroom can't handle so many people consuming so many beers and the flushing that followed. There was a couple of inches of "water" in places in the basement. ICK. Disgusting. I'm pretty sure that the sewer pipe in the basement floor is broken. Which means sledge hammers need to be used and things repaired. *sigh* There's always something. It was so much fun cleaning that up (not).

Sunday was spent leisurely - the Boy and I lounged around after sleeping in. We also cleaned up much party mess and washed out recycling etc. Later we carved pumpkins and prepared for trick-or-treaters. 42 in all. It was a lot of fun. I was soooo excited to be here this year to hand out candy! After that we went for a b-day dinner at the Boy's Dad's house. Chicken & potatoes, yum. We ended the evening visiting friends and stopping by the local watering hole for a beer.

Today - my DAY OFF...fantastic. Putzing, fixing, cleaning, all things I don't usually have time for. IT's been great. I even read for a while, am watching Dr. Phil currently and wishing that I could do it all again tomorrow. Ah well, reality calls.


My Dad has been moved into a private room out of "medical necessity" which I think is good. He had a really loud, obnoxious and bathroom challenged roommate at first. Secondly the roommate was quiet and not a problem but my Dad really needed a dark room that could be quiet so when a room opened up they moved him. I'm planning on going down to Rochester next weekend for a visit. It's my Mom's b-day soon too so we want to do some celebrating for/with her.