Tuesday, May 31, 2005
We spent most of the long weekend in the yard and in the gardens. Steve was finishing up planting his bagillion trees (really, "only" 75 but that's a crapload of trees!) and I spent the days digging up the flower beds and "deweeding" them which really consisted of ripping up the SOD that had replaced what should have just been dirt. Ugh. Okay - Steve helped me with some of that because there was no way I could get some of it up. I planted tons and tons of petunias which are quite lovely. I also transplanted a bunch of tulip bulbs (literally hundreds - ack!), I moved my seedlings (marigolds, sweet william, bellflower and echinachea) from the seed tray to the ground, I transplanted some other bulbs I found in the front (blue bravo?) and ripped out the horrible front flower bed edging (Steve helped with that too). I also planted some wild flowers - I hope they turn out! I got sunburnt yesterday - which sucks - but it does mean that at least the sun is shining!
We also ate Chinese food and watched National Treasure - which although I found to be so silly and implausible in many parts I really enjoyed. I needed escape!
We went to 2 bbq's - both which served chicken (I'm chickened out!) and yes, a few beers were consumed as well.
Being back at work was rather lame today but oh well....and now it's almost Wednesday - the week is flying - whoooheeeeee!
Saturday, May 28, 2005
this is not the first incident...
Last AugustSteve's truck window was smashed in and cd player/cd's were stolen from it when he was parked over night in the alley.
Last October my Dad's mini-van back window was smashed in while parked in the alley (nothing stolen - idiots - it was full of tools!) while we were gone for about an hour IN THE MIDDLE OF A SATURDAY AFTERNOON.
(needless to say - no one parks in back any more).
And last year my BIKE was stolen OUT OF THE GARAGE while we were working in the g.d. yard. FUCKING BALLSY.
I'm so angry. I'm so so so so so so so so fucking angry. I'm so sick of living somewhere where people don't respect your property. I'm so sick of being SHIT on.
I don't even know what else to say.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Oh boy….<>The thing is…I like to work. I do. I LOVE being busy and getting projects and the sense of accomplishment when they are finished. In my “real” life I am never bored. There is always something to do – reading, taking a hike, working on the film, gardening, washing dishes (there are always dishes), working on a various house project or craft project or whatever….but here? Here I am deadly bored. I loathe being bored. My brain is going a million miles a minute and then just crashes and I fight yawns and heavy eyelids and I watch the minutes tick by on my monitor. It really really sucks. I’ve read all the ‘blogs that I read (which haven’t yet been blocked by my IT department), I’ve scoped out real estate in various cities throughout the US, I’ve figured out my financial situation through December (and MAN am I hoping it changes), I’ve read my usual comics & Dear Abby, I’m out of ideas!><>Boredom leads to me feeling sorry for myself which leads to posts like the one from the other day. Ugh.>
<>Any boredom-at-work suggestions?>
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
OMG - my baby is almost grown up?!? 2+ years...... I can't imagine what I'll do with all my free time.
(okay - it won't actually be done done til the end of summer most likely - we're still re-shooting the opening titles and then there's the scrounging of money to get some DVD's made so we can start submitting, plan of attack, marketing, etc but it will be DONE!!!!)
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
I’m trying to stave it off. I swear to God. I’m trying.
I’m positive today. The sun in shining (sort of), the temps are good. The grass is sooooo green and our yard is looking fabulous after all the hard work this weekend. I’m wearing short sleeves and I’m not freezing! I’m not tired, hungry, my eyes don’t hurt, I’m not sneezing and have no sinus headache or weird hormonal rollercoaster to ride. But…it’s starting to not work. My incredible optimism is slipping. Thank goodness I only have 50 minutes to go.
I’m photocopying today. Yup. That’s it. Photocopying. Well, and refilling the copier with paper (because god forbid anyone else who works here should do it) and I did some shredding earlier. Shredding. And while I’m doing these less than mundane tasks I try try try to grin and bear it. I try to “accept my station in life” *puke* and that works for a while but then I start losing it.<>I am a creative, smart, talented person. I have 4 year degree. I graduated magna cum laude. I’m a geek! I’m enthusiastic and like inspiring people. And yet every day I come and sit within the confines of gray-cubicle-land where I do things like COPY A MILLION G*DD*MN PAGES! (funny cause immediately after typing that I had to go re-fill the copier. Ah life!). My life was supposed to be different. If I think about it too much I start getting really sad so I try to only live on the edge of the memories of how I thought my life would be. >
And when I say that – please know that I’m by no means unhappy. I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. I have the pleasure (ahem) of living with two wonderful kitties, I have a cute little house (on which I can whittle away hours and hours on re-doing), I have a yard to play in, I have a nice car, I have a spectacular family and I have friends who love and need me…..I just mean, I’m supposed to be getting paid to do something I love. Something I’ve loved since I was about…. 2 years old! But I screwed up. I screwed up my 20’s and they’re gone and now I have this. I have a dayjob which I don’t hate but certainly don’t love. I have bills – mountains of bills from failed attempts at making myself a creative career (and still working on that). I have regret. I hate to say it but I think it’s true. God, I said I’d never utter those words but….
So, even though all this is rattling around in my brain…I am a believer of “if I didn’t do x, y, z, I wouldn’t be where I am now and therefore wouldn’t have necessarily met Steve, met my friends, etc etc”…..ACK. The ultimate conundrum. I don’t even know if that’s the right word…. Anyway – I guess sometimes I just need to vent and therefore….well, if you’re still here you already know.Gotta do something. Gotta figure it out soon. I’m not getting any younger.
The weekend was good - ate yummy Sammy's pizza on Friday (delish), worked in the yard all day on Saturday (lawn mowed, weeds weeds weeds pulled, crappy bird bath - gone!), movies were watched (Napoleon Dynamite and Sideways), wine was consumed, the film was worked on and a lovely fettucine alfredo (w/chicken, carrots and corn) was made from scratch.
AND THE CAT WALL CAME DOWN!!!!
Why is it now that as I sit here I think I smell cat pee. ???
My dining room has never seemed so big. I love it. Love love love it!!
Okay -now, back to work. Blech.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Steve & I are all geared up for the finale. I was rooting for Tana the whole season until last week. Last week she was so arrogant and so nasty about her team (granted, her team was difficult). I thought her task was just a bit more chaotic and not as smooth as Kendra's event. So, I'm rooting for Kendra tonight. We shall see....
And I'm on a hormonal-rollercoaster this week. It is really sucking. LOGICALLY I know that at this point in my month - I think irrationally, analyze everything and become a little depressed (for me - which isn't much but damn it still sucks). Journal writing commences. I become needy and clingy and I disbelieve that anyone could ever love me - blah blah blah.
I hope the sun returns soon.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
*The list is the unbelievably long list of "house projects" which contains things like building closet shelves, refinishing the hard wood floors, organizing the basement, etc. I added the speaker project after we were done just so we could cross SOMETHING off.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Saturday - slept in...had lovely breakfast of spam-n-eggs and rolls from Johnson's Bakery (super yum). Yesterday afternoon Steve & ran marathon errands - LensCrafters, Verizon, JC Penneys, Menards, Target, Cub...it took FOREVER....but I am on a familyshare plan, I have a kick ass new pair of Levi's, we delivered a baby gift which was adorable (and wrapped cutely too) and we ate a nice grilled dinner (brats, tater tots, beans) when we got home. DAMN my life is exciting!
Last night we visited our friends & their newborn. So cute. I wanted to gobble up her little fingers they were so adorable. And her cheeks! Oh my god. You should have a license to be so cute. After that we stopped by a pub for a few brews and some bluegrass. It was a nice night. But the free popcorn made my stomach feel crappy. Ah well.
Today I did some movie work and that's about it.
Tomorrow's Monday - BLECH!