Naturally Optimistic

Well, I figured it was coming...I start insulin today. Just before dinner. Not really a big deal, my after dinner numbers were creeping up no matter what I did. In a way it's a bit of a relief because then I can go out for pizza (for example) & actually consume a normal sized portion, adjust my insulin accordingly and not feel like I'm "missing out." Ah well - not much longer now!

I changed up my 'regular' breakfast (2 pieces of low-carb bread SLATHERED in peanut butter, natural, of course & a banana) for the 2 pieces of toast + half an apple. It was a mistake. I am still starving and there's 2 hours to go until my snack. dangit. (and I have to go grocery shopping before then & now! ACK! I'm going to torture myself!!)

Started testing my blood sugar today after my 2 1/2 appt at the diabetes clinic. Let's just say I'm being very careful trying to get creative (already!) but both my after lunch & after dinner numbers are high & I'm already frustrated. Mostly because I'm very very hungry. I can't wait til 9:30 when I can have a snack. That'll probably jack me for the morning but what can I do? Otherwise I will wake up at 3 or 4am with a very rumbly tummy. (This is a photo of some "snack packs" I put together today on advice of my nutritionist...some good things to 'munch on' for snack time. I thought it was a great idea until I saw how SMALL they are! Except the peanuts. Those are doable. Each pack is APPROXIMATELY 15g of carb which is one carb serving. My 'snacks' are one carb serving each. I think I could eat 12 of these...in one sitting...) I need to exercise more but I am a slow, fat, beached whale these days & the thought of doing someth...

Well, as expected, it looks like I have failed my 3 hour GTT. I haven't gotten the official phone call yet, but I did get a notification to check my online health account. Pre-test results good! 1 hour results - okay; 2 hour results - Fail; 3 hour results - Fail. It's a pain in my butt, to be sure, but there are worse things I could be dealing with. At least I don't have to go through any major eating holidays (ie: Thanksgiving). Maybe this time I'll get lucky & won't have to use insulin. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I'm being bad & having a bagel & a big glass of orange juice for breakfast. Oh & I might just take a few piece of Valentine's candy in my lunch before I'm officially cut off.

As I expected, I failed the one-hour glucose test (again). I mean I REALLY failed it. So, on to the 3-hour test next week. I don't hold out much hope. Time to start breaking out all the veggies, nuts & meat. Whohooo! Just what I'm craving.

I know, I know. Cardinal rule broken. Don't get your hair cut (short) while pregnant or it will make you look like a pin-head (according to this book )...but I couldn't handle the scragglyness any more. And it's Thanksgiving this week and I'll see my Mom and I didn't want to hear her say "You should really get a haircut." So I figured...if I get it cut "short" now then I won't have to think about it again for another 6 weeks or so..... I don't like it. I rarely do one day into it but I suppose it'll get better when I have more time, figure it out, it grows out, etc. Honestly at this point, I don't care a whole lot. I look *weird* all around so in future years when I look at pictures I'll just blame it all on Baby B - nice, huh? So I had another appointment today at the diabetes clinic. Guess what? I get more insulin! Whohoo. Another shot before dinner (I suspected this would be the case)...and I'm bumping my dosage at lun...

I made chicken curry last night for dinner. Steve had been requesting it so I finally acquiesed. I'm not a huge curry fan (I'm more of a bland girl) but decided to give it a shot. I used a crock pot recipe. It turned out - okay. It had sweet potatoes in it which I really liked but Steve didn't care for. He really liked the chicken, but I thought it was dry and too spicy (figures). There was also not much sauce...and when I tried to make more (ala water & corn starch) it got too corn starchy and had that icky texture. Then Steve re-heated & added more water to make it more saucy and less starchy but then it lost it's "good" flavor. I think we were both kind of 'eh' about it. I do love jasmine rice and probably ate too much (even though I only had 2 1/2 cup servings which fit into my meal for the night). I ended up way over on my BG levels which leads me to believe I will be on insulin before dinner before too long. *sigh* And I smelled like curr...

Last night I gave myself my first insulin injection. I am a BIG wimp. The needle is BEYOND TINY. I was about a half-a-step a way from hyper-ventilating and working myself into a tear filled frenzy as I sat in the bathroom with my alcohol swabbed belly exposed, injection pen in hand and Steve encouraging me. I knew it wasn't going to be a big deal but there is something about stabbing yourself with a needle that causes a mind/hand disconnect and I was frozen. Steve offered to do it for me, but I knew I would be alone mostly and would have to suck it up and do it then. Finally after about 5 minutes of NOTHING I said, I can do it but you can't watch. So he left and I did it and it was nothing! The needles that they gave me are tiny. It hurts far less than prick #4 of the day for the BG testing. It goes in, you count to six while holding down the trigger, you take it out. I had a tiny bit of blood and some itchiness afterwards but I think that's normal. This morning's injec...

Although I'm not a SUPER huge fan of Jello I don't mind it and thank god for that because it's about the only sweet thing I can eat with wild abandon. No, it IS the only sweet thing I can eat with wild abandon. I am averaging about a box a day right now. Sad, but true. Unfortunately they don't make the 0g carb sugar-free Jello in as many flavors as they do with the regular but ah well. At this point I will take what I can get! I also picked up a few boxes of different flavors as sugar-free pudding. Although the puddings contain a few carbs, every once in a while you've just got to mix things up a bit. In other news, I went to the OB today and it looks like I'll be going every week now (w/ultrasound) until Baby B comes! Yay! More doctor's appointments! My OB also said that if we get the blood sugar numbers under control, we won't go past 39 weeks (!) (crap that's only 7 weeks away!) and if we DON't get the numbers under control, I'll be induce...

I just ate a bowl of oatmeal (27g of carbs) for my before bed snack and I'm STILL hungry. Hmph.

I think today is better but I've been staying far away from the allotted 60g of carbs for meals and relying on more of the above for fuel. Eggs, peanuts, carrots, meat sticks. My numbers yesterday were all over the map - mostly way too high. Last night after dinner though I was in the range. This morning when I woke up - too high. After breakfast & lunch? In the range. So who knows. I'm still starving and I think that is the thing that worries me right now the most. I just want to make sure Baby B (and me!) is getting enough to eat.

I'm starving and afraid to eat. I guess I will go home and have more cheese, veggies and anything else that I don't have to "count" for my pre-dinner snack. *sigh*

Yesterday I met with the OB Diabetes Clinic staff - well, it FELT like meeting with the whole staff. I was there for 3 1/2 hours. I met with a Diabeteologist, an RN and a Nutritionist. I had a medical history taken, a physical exam, labs ordered, fingers pricked; I was walked through a booklet on what GD is and how it can affect me and Baby B; I learned how to use the blood testing "gear" - the meter and test strips, how to load the lancets into the thing and get them ready for action. I learned how to use the insulin pen, change the needles, etc. We talked about what I eat in a normal day, we talked about what (or how much) I should (can) eat (carbs). We made a "plan." I had three tubes of blood drawn (thyroid okay? vitamin D defincient? and something I can't remember) and then FINALLY I got to leave. It was informative, a bit scary (I REALLY don't want to have to use insulin; I'm a wimp and afraid of stabbing myself in the side), overwhelming, etc. I f...

I don't know why I'm letting this get to me so much. Okay - I sort of know. I'm playing POOR ME. Woe is Me. Blah blah blah - I'm whining. I have a 3 hour doctor's appointment (again!) on Tuesday. That's when they find out my dark & mysterious medical history (um, isn't it in their computers?), give me a physical exam (um, haven't I been doing this for the past 7 1/2 months?), put me on a diet, etc. I'm anxious to go because I want to find out the particulars and what I can do to make sure it doesn't get worse. But I'm irritated. I have not quite gained 20lbs in this pregnancy thus far...which means with 9 1/2 weeks to go - let's say even a pound a week - 30lbs in a pregnancy is right in the middle of "normal" for someone of "normal" size to gain. I don't eat like a pig or a garbage can! I eat a lot of fruits & veggies, sure a lot of carbs too, and the sweets things has just recently kicked in (which is new ...