Naturally Optimistic

On Monday morning I am doing a reading at my nephew's funeral. Words that are so sad I hoped I would never say them. My sister-in-law & brother-in-law were expecting their baby to arrive in March; but sadly the wee one was plagued with problems. They found out the baby had Downs Syndrome, which is sad but of course it is a challenge that just has to be met. Unfortunately there were other problems with the baby's heart - including a calcium build up in the left ventricle (which is usually only present in the right ventricle) of the heart (or I may have gotten left & right mixed up). This was only documented 4 times in the US & Canada. Most likely this baby would need an immediate heart transplant upon his birth. If the pregnancy went full term. There was also the potential for brain damage - something that could not be determined during pregnancy. Sadly, it did not. The baby was born on Saturday, October 23rd. 23 weeks (I think?). He was named Owen & he lived for...

Neither of my Grandmothers were/are smokers. Both of my Grandfathers were (at least at one point). My Grandma R. died after a 4 month battle with lung cancer. My Grandma B. has just found out about a carcinoid tumor in her lung. It sucks. I fucking hate cancer.

Just found out a friend of mine's 18-year-old daughter is addicted to heroin. How devastating. I don't even know what to say to her. That must be so incredibly hard. I haven't talked to her but I know that her daughter entered a rehab program yesterday. I'm sending them both all my love & good wishes.

Day 3 drop off. Not good, for either of us but my trick today was I drove! So immediately ran to my car and sped away - that way I couldn't hear the crying. I also find if I distract myself as much as possible, that's better. But now I feel the need to call and see how she's doing. My heart? Still aches. **Update** Just talked to the center. She's napping! In a crib! Whohooo! That's a major accomplishment. I guess she really needs to have a person, a big person, near her at all times. She wants nothing to do with other children, she wants her personal adult playing with, attending to her at all times. *sigh* I know this will get better...I just hope it's not too long of a road. She ate lots of mac & cheese (that a a girl!) and enjoyed sitting at the 'big kids' counter and doing a puzzle with the cook. Didn't like going back into a highchair so much for lunch. It's a slow process....hopefully it'll start to go a bit smoother....

...and no one said it'd be this hard.... Day 2 - full day of daycare for Miss Dahlia. Dahlia & Mommy? Aren't doing that great. She has been uber clingy since last week's adventures in Daycare...she only wants ME now which is a change from her previous status of only wanting DADDY. She's fine when I'm not around, but if I'm in & out of the room, have to run to the store, leave the room so Daddy can put her to bed, etc. then it's freak out time. So, I knew today would be tough. We walked over to the center and went in with little to no fussing. As soon as I set her down though she started crying. I sat with her for a while and tried to get her distracted by a book or toy, didn't work. Finally the daycare teacher said "okay Dahlia, give Mommy a hug and then we'll go read a book." That didn't go over well, but I sort of got a hug..and HUGE tears (her not me). She quieted down pretty quickly, but by time I was walking down the block ...

This makes me incredibly sad. It also makes me really angry. I didn't know about this right after it happened because I didn't know what the "honking tree" was. It was never my custom to honk at this majestic beauty while driving up Highway 61, but I did marvel at it every time I passed. It was a lone sentinel, watching out over the North Shore. It was old. It had been spared in a previous life. It was an icon. And now it's gone. Some asshole had to cut it down -for what? A prank? Malicious intent? Tree-hater? WTF is wrong with people? I will be very sad the next time I drive by it's stump...and I will probably honk my horn.

Jason's cat Bob is very sick. He was lethargic yesterday; Jason couldn't get him out from under his bed (Jason had a friend stay visiting whom Bob DOES NOT LIKE - so it's not unusual for him to hide) and when he did poor Bob peed all over the floor. Jason was up with him all night - said his breath was "hitching" and he would just lay on the floor looking sad. Wouldn't eat. Wouldn't drink. Wouldn't sleep. Jason took him to the vet this morning and the prognosis is not good. Initially the vet thought maybe a sudden onset of asthma but after several tests, they find out it's his heart. Poor Bob. This kitty is HUGE and so friendly and so vocal and just a great cat. I am very sad for Jason because if it is a heart condition or disease, well, there's really nothing that can be done. Please send any extra good vibes your way to Bob & Jason today. :( (ps- Bob is only 6 years old!) UPDATE - Wednesday, 8am It's not Bob's heart, possibly pneu...