Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The End.

Well, a chapter in my life is ending.

I found out yesterday that my company will no longer be getting the funding that has kept us afloat for the past almost 3 years.

We were on a 5-year plan - 5 years to make films & try to sell them (some?), try to network & make connections, try to become self-sustaining. We had an angel who has supported us through all of this - sorry an investor - but really an angel. I have been incredibly blessed to work in a field that is challenging & creative; to learn so many different things; to travel a bit, to make new connections & to set my own schedule which has been ever so helpful while raising a toddler.

But...the economy crashed, our investor got a (n expensive) divorce, new projects were started and I think he got bored with us. We are no longer a priority. I get that. I completely & totally understand that we are owed nothing. I am grateful for what I have received.

He said that he will see RILEY through to completion (finishing production, post-production & marketing) but I'm not sure if that includes continuing to get paid. In fact I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

This presents a couple of issues:

1) How can I continue to work a full-time job (sound design, color correction & promotion alone is plenty of work) while not getting paid?

2) If I'm not getting paid how can I afford to take Dahlia to daycare....and if she's with me (which she could be) who can I get all those other things done?

3) If we're just cut off - don't get enough money to finish the film & promotion - what's the point? Why not walk away now? (except for the fact that I am proud of this film and really hope that it gets it's due).

So, lots of thinking, planning, budget making, etc. Trying to figure out if there's something I can do from home to bring in some income....knowing that trying to get a job in this economy in DULUTH while PREGNANT and having a toddler is going to be pretty tough. I'd be lucky to to find a job that would just cover daycare for the month and then what's the point? And employers just LOVE to hire pregnant women, don't they?


So, although in my heart I know it's time to move on...I'm just not quite prepared. I was hoping for a few months to pad out the bank account and build a safety net. My brain hurts from thinking of all the untangling that comes with dissovling a company (ultimately) & the thought of leaving RILEY unfinished really is heartbreaking. I just don't know what the future holds.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Next Year's Christmas Card Photo?

Maybe someday I'll get a decent family photo by a Christmas tree....

Monday, December 28, 2009

Sinus Infection

I'm pretty sure I have a sinus infection. My left cheekbone, jaw - to ear, area hurt. They just HURT. filled with pressure & so much mucus. I had a miserable night sleep as my teeth hurt, my face hurt from pressure, my pelvis hurts (ah, that's not related to the sinus infection). I've never had a sinus infection before but I'm pretty sure that after a week of blowing my nose with this stupid cold, that's what it is. Thank god it's not on the right side (yet...?).

I tried using my neti pot last night - but my sinuses were so blocked that I couldn't even get water to flow. It was SO PAINFUL. I had an instant water-up-my-nose-headache all the way to the back of my head. Burning, tingling, not good. I gave up. I tried again this morning and I can actually breathe through both nostrils! That hasn't happened in a week (love the neti pot). I still have a lot of facial/jaw pain & pressure. I tried to make a doctor's appt today but my doctor no longer is at our clinic (nice! Thanks for letting me know!) and I can't get in to see anyone else today - how handy! I'm going to try to go to the Quick Clinic at Cub...we'll see how I fair. Otherwise I will continue doing the neti pot & drinking lots of water. I don't know what else to do....the acetaminophin doesn't TOUCH the pain and I dont 'think I can take anything else since I'm pregnant.

*sigh* This stinks!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Go See This Movie

Truly one of the most remarkable films I have ever seen. See it in 3D if you can.

Christmas Day 2009

After a morning of kitchen deliciousness, gifts, and way too much rain for this time of year...oh and Steve shoveling the heaviest, wettest snow he's ever encountered - we finally made it to my in-laws. The main roads had been plowed (ours had not) and without the Highlander's 4WD we never would have made it up there.

We enjoyed good company, lots of good food, the kids LOVED seeing the big bob-cat type thingy clearing the driveway, more food, delicious cake and presents! The kids loved playing with each other...and Miss Dahlia was asleep before we could back out of the driveway!

When we got home, we discovered the plows had come through and with all the rain & ice, we had to get out and shovel in order to make it up the driveway. That part wasn't too fun, but we didn't have to shovel completely, just enough to make it through.

Today's agenda - eating more Monkey Bread, seeing AVATAR in 3D and another holiday party at Steve's Aunt's tonight!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Although we're still without the play kitchen (damn Target & their missing pieces!), Dahlia was full of excitement when she saw a pile of presents by the fireplace! She has had a lot of fun playing with her new toys. The sled from Santa was a BIG hit...although she thinks it's a "boat." I didn't even know she KNEW the words to "Row Row Row Your Boat"....apparently she does!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Thursday, December 24, 2009


Dahlia & I just came in from being outside "playing" in the snow (while Steve still shovels & snowblows). We're having a respite right now from the flakes & winds, but a full blown blizzard is supposed to be in effect by midnight! We're stocked up & ready to hunker down if necessary (if we can get out - we'll go to church & my FIL's for Christmas Eve dinner...we shall see). My only MAJOR disappointment is the fact that we are STILL MISSING a piece for Dahlia's kitchen so I wanted to run to Target today. Steve may go in a little bit to see if he can get one (and he has a couple other errands to run) but we might have to wait a day or two to get Dahlia's full Christmas morning reaction. I'm super bummed about that as I know she's going to LOVE this kitchen, but what can you do? I'm trying not to let it ruin my day.

For all you in the northern climes, enjoy the white Christmas! While all you in the warm sunny states can "dream" of it!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Using What I've Got

After my ECFE/Daycare Teachers Christmas Gift Poll, I decided to just do gifts for the Daycare providers, and skip ECFE (since there's like 8 of them and we only see them once a week). budget is tight this year. I'm trying to be more frugal, to stash more cash in the bank, to prepare for the long, cold, dark winter ahead (and the non-productive potentially income-deficient maternity leave in my future). So instead of going out and buying some tchotke or baking something (which they probably get a TON of) I made some card packs.

I made each of the 4 teachers a 5-pack of Thank You cards. I figure I ALWAYS need thank you cards after the holidays, and they probably do too (good lord, I hope there are still other people out there who send thank you cards).

I included 5 envelopes & 5 stamps as well, and I packaged them in cello bags.

This is the best part: I didn't buy a thing (save for the stamps). I used card stock & decorative paper that I've had for YEARS. I used embellishments that I've been hoarding which I received as gifts for several past birthdays & Christmases. I bought the cello bags probably 8 years ago and haven't gotten around to using very many of them. I used stamps that I've used for Christmas cards & other cards in the past and voila! 4 Christmas gifts that cost me (immediate out of pocket anyway) the price of one book of stamps.

I even packaged them in gift bags that I made two years ago during the great bean soup holiday giveway.

I feel really good when I can use what I already have...a lesson for life, perhaps?

Cookie Exchange

I participated in a cookie exchange with some ECFE Moms on Monday. I was happy to be apart of it because I've always wanted to do one, but never been asked. There were 6 of us participating and we decided on doing 6 cookies for each Mom. That was a great number. I made a normal sized batch of cookies and it worked out perfectly.

Of course I think my cookies turned out rather ugly.

They were a bit better when I packaged them but still I was rather disappointed with their outcome.

Oh well! Hopefully they will be enjoyed regardless.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Twas the Night Before Christmas....

...and Santa's Elves were hard at work last night working on Dahlia's Christmas present.

A cute little kitchen set that she can bake lots & lots of "Happy Cakes" in & brew many pots of coffee for her Daddy.

This doesn't look too hard...

Oh, there's a few more pages. Good thing we started "early."

All the pieces lined up & ready to go.

Hmmm, what's this? I see a bag of "A," "B," "B," & "C" screws.....seems we're missing the "D's" (incidentally used in 'step #1').

ARGH! Back to Target I go!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

These Boots are made for...

After 18 years of having the same Sorels, I decided that it was ABOUT TIME that I got a new pair of boots. I do live in DULUTH after all where it is reportedly cold & snowy for half of the year (although this year all the snow is far to the south of us, pooey). I do like to be outside & play in the snow - whether it's x-country skiing, hiking or snowshoeing - which a good pair of boots comes in handy for!

So I took my $145 REI dividend which has been sitting there for 2 years and I bought myself a new pair of boots! And it didn't cost me a dime. And they delivered them to my door. Merry Christmas to me!

(**disclaimer: these boots did not COST $145...but with a little Christmas shopping + delivery fees I managed to use up my dividend for the most part...**

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Something to Think About...

I'm not crazy about the title, but I think the message is meaningful.

One Word

Since I don't have access to my birthday party photos right now, I thought I'd play along. From Sarillia.

Where is your cell phone? desk

Significant other? trees

Your hair? limp

Your mother? thoughtful

Your father? generous

Your favorite thing? snuggling

Your dream last night? nothing

Your favorite drink? water

What room are you in? office

Your hobby? crafting

Your fear? failure

Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy

Where were you last night? party

Something that you aren't? perfectionist

Muffins? yummy

Wish list item? necklace

Last thing you did? email

What are you wearing? sweater

TV? off

Your pets? two

Friends? few

Your life? busy

Your mood? okay

Missing someone? no

Drinking? water

Your car? 'new'

Something you're not wearing? swimsuit

Your favorite store? Craft

Your favorite color? purple

When is the last time you cried? morning

Who will repost this? Laurie

Where do you go to over and over? Cub

My favorite place to eat? Mom's

Favorite place I'd like to be at right now? home

(**Sarah I had to steal some of your answers!**) :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


The ultrasound yesterday went very well - I'm relieved because I've been being a big worrywart lately - seems like I feel this baby less, haven't gained much weight, blah blah blah - it's enough to make a hormone-riddled brain more paranoid than necessary...but Baby B looks good! All the pieces are in the right places. The baby was drinking & swallowing amniotic fluid like crazy! We could see the mouth going & the tongue flapping around. A little wiggly here & there but not crazy like SOME babies I know. Weighing in at about 12oz - a little small for right now so they want to do a follow up ultrasound in 4 weeks. Thank God I have insurance!

Profile pic - you can see nose, chin, etc...

Pic of legs - going from left to right (feet at right)...crossed at the ankle. How modest!

We are not going to find out the sex of the baby til he/she arrives. It was quite exciting last time. I admit it was a LITTLE hard when the doc was sitting there and asked me if I wanted to know...I mean SHE knows and that is so crazy! Ah well...I will be patient!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Happy Birthday, Sweet Dahlia!

My little girl is 2 today! I cannot believe it! We spent the weekend celebrating - More details to come.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tomorrow's Nearly Impossible To-Do List

Since Dahlia's birthday is on Monday - we're having her party on Saturday. A family affair we'll all be quite cozy in our little house. This list is more for me than you, but here you go!

-Wash upstairs bathroom floor
-hang Dahlia's valance & artwork
-tidy up hallway, put books on shelves (since they're not getting painted anyway!)
-make more Chex Mix (because SOMEONE ate it all already, *ahem*)
-bake Christmas cookies (if I can find my cutters)
-make cupcakes, decorate like ELMO!
-make wild rice soup
-make apple dip
-wash downstairs floor
-tidy up back room & move drum set
-wrap Dahlia's b-day presents + family presents for Sunday
-scrub kitchen sink
-bring up dining table leaves, extra chairs & card tables
-put ELMO decorations up in addition to Christmas decorations
-relax with a cup of hot chocolate

My awesome Mother has offered to bring veggies/dip & the chili for Saturday's shindig which rocks & takes a load off my plate (thanks, Mom!) so looking at this list...I think it's actually do-able!

Which is good because I am sharing a cold with Dahlia and I'm absolutely WIPED OUT today and am heading to bed as soon as I get the dinner dishes in the dishwasher & change the laundry. I know I should get something done tonight, but I have a feeling my body is saying REST, WOMAN! And so I shall.

I can see clearly now...

well, you know, with contacts.

My eyesight has gone to crap in the last 2 months - I think because of the human being I'm gestating. I just got new contacts in September and my eyes were bothering me so much (mostly nearsightedness) that I went in again for an eval and guess what? My eyes have gotten about a .5 (?? um, eye doctor measurement...?) worse! from 6's to 6.5. So, I popped in the FREE SAMPLE PAIR and wow! What a difference. Driving, going to places like Target & Cub and of course watching TV (because I do so much of that). Luckily I was able to trade in my unopened box of contacts from September. I was really NOT interested in having a box of unusable contacts lying around. I'm not made of money you know!

Of course this could all change after Number 2 comes along (okay, seriously need a nickname)...or it could not. Who knows. They don't know exactly WHY your vision may change when you're pregnant (the answer I got today was probably hormones and/or sugar in your blood...okay, that's pretty technical!) but it often does. IT didn't happen to mek with Dahlia but I've had friends who it has happened with.

So for now, I can see clearly. I guess I"ll be waiting on getting new glasses til probably a year from now.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Memory Lane

I was just checking out my blog from the first weeks of December 2007. In those last few days of not being a parent. Hearing about the snow & the imminent (two weeks! haha) arrival of our daughter. Being utterly depressed the night before she was born while probably in labor the whole time and then blogging the morning of her birth. That's dedication people!

I can't believe she's almost TWO! Good lord! Time flies. I mean, those first few months didn't fly, but overall it flies. I'll have to read up on the aftermath of her arrival and see if I can glean some new insights for after Number 2 arrives (seriously - I need to get this kid a 'nickname.') I love seeing the pics of her little teeny tiny self. Oh my sweet girl. She's a feisty one, that's for sure, and has been from the moment she arrived!

Monday, December 07, 2009

Teeny Tiny Boots

So, Dahlia has tiny feet, like her mother. I am having a HECK of a time finding boots for her. Most 'toddler' boots (which would be suitable for things she wants to do, ie: run around outside, start at size 5. She DESPERATELY needs boots as they go outside every day at daycare (which she LOVES) and her little tootsies are very cold in these December temps! It'll only get worse! She wears a 3...maybe a 4 (with big socks). Any suggestions on where to find small boots? I've hit just a few places so far (specifically) and everywhere else I've been (in passing)...I've tried Target, Kohl's and Savers (just in case!) for just a few. Any other ideas?

Friday, December 04, 2009

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Time to be Done

I am seriously contemplating quitting my job. I can't take it any more.

I don't MEAN to be a control freak, but...

I figured out yesterday that I just am. I would be the type of boss (if I had anyone working for me - like an assistant or something) that would be so incredibly annoying. My assistant would sit idle because I would do all the work that an assistant should know, like file expenses, write reports, work on letters, memos, research, mail Christmas & birthday cards, etc. That would put me REALLY far behind on all the IMPORTANT work that I, as the boss, would have to do, and subsequently cause me great stress. I know this because every time I delegate something NOW at my NOT important job, it is done INCORRECTLY (or languishes not getting done) and I end up doing it myself. I tried really hard with this last project to let some of things I *normally* do go and let them be picked up by appropriate people. Guess what? They're not getting done so who's picking up the slack? ME. And then there are additional people we've hired and quite frankly I don't know WHAT the hell they're doing so I end up doing that work too. And on top of it all I have a VERY IMPORTANT finance meeting with the finance people on Friday (the likes of which meetings I frankly despise) and I am completely & totally not prepared and overwhelmed.

Throw into the mix a short film that I should've edited about 6 months ago (only a 5-7 minute piece, but still...), a craft show that I signed up to do this weekend (I have exactly 6 cards made to sell), Dahlia's birthday party next weekend to prepare for (ie: learning how to frost an Elmo cake), early Christmas is being celebrated with my family that weekend as well (so, you know, presents...), the end of RILEY needs to be shot (but we need snow and we have no snow), my bedroom is only half wall-paper stripped and the bookshelves upstairs are FAR from painted (so much for "by Christmas" goals) and a slew of other things I'm probably forgetting because I have yet to make my multiple (useless) lists.

In other words, I need a vacation.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

I need thicker skin

OUCH! Another scathing review of GOD ROCKED on Netflix. Ay yi yi. I know people have all different tastes & likes & dislikes (I certainly do) but dang, these hurt after a while.

I'm too sensitive to be in this stupid business.