Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I don't MEAN to be a control freak, but...

I figured out yesterday that I just am. I would be the type of boss (if I had anyone working for me - like an assistant or something) that would be so incredibly annoying. My assistant would sit idle because I would do all the work that an assistant should know, like file expenses, write reports, work on letters, memos, research, mail Christmas & birthday cards, etc. That would put me REALLY far behind on all the IMPORTANT work that I, as the boss, would have to do, and subsequently cause me great stress. I know this because every time I delegate something NOW at my NOT important job, it is done INCORRECTLY (or languishes not getting done) and I end up doing it myself. I tried really hard with this last project to let some of things I *normally* do go and let them be picked up by appropriate people. Guess what? They're not getting done so who's picking up the slack? ME. And then there are additional people we've hired and quite frankly I don't know WHAT the hell they're doing so I end up doing that work too. And on top of it all I have a VERY IMPORTANT finance meeting with the finance people on Friday (the likes of which meetings I frankly despise) and I am completely & totally not prepared and overwhelmed.

Throw into the mix a short film that I should've edited about 6 months ago (only a 5-7 minute piece, but still...), a craft show that I signed up to do this weekend (I have exactly 6 cards made to sell), Dahlia's birthday party next weekend to prepare for (ie: learning how to frost an Elmo cake), early Christmas is being celebrated with my family that weekend as well (so, you know, presents...), the end of RILEY needs to be shot (but we need snow and we have no snow), my bedroom is only half wall-paper stripped and the bookshelves upstairs are FAR from painted (so much for "by Christmas" goals) and a slew of other things I'm probably forgetting because I have yet to make my multiple (useless) lists.

In other words, I need a vacation.


Kate said...

I've really learned to let things go. But at your job, I feel your pain. You want things to go well and you're invested in it - so YES! You want it done well and in a timely manner. That sucks. I'd fire someone if they made me feel that way. But of course, you're not in a position to do that. Hrmph. Hang in there.

Holly said...

I of course, go naturally to my HR hat. Who manages the people who aren't doing the work you are picking up?

I feel your pain, however. I am overcommitted as well and feel like I am hanging on my fingertips. Why I let myself do this every year is still a mystery to me. Urgh.

Sending you happy thoughts and good vibes to get you thru this crazy time.

Rebecca said...

I tend to be a bit of a control freak too. I just can't help it. If I care enough about something to be involved in whatever that something is....I want it done my way.

juliemac_29 said...

Ooooo! Nothing's more annoying than finally delegating and it not getting done! Fire all your extra people and I'll do your delegated work. That's my forte. Also my forte? Cakes. If you need any help taking on Elmo, let me know! I love cakes and the decorating thereof.

michelle said...

sorry you're so stressed!

i'm the same way. i have trouble letting other people do things when i know they aren't going to do it the way I want.

don't let the craft sale add to the stress. i'll cover the cost of the table and hopefully with you're meeting behind you you'll be able to relax a little bit :)

if there is anything i can do just let me know!

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hi Carrie,

Kate suggested I check your blog and if I kept your pace, I'd take a vacation. I think it's difficult for certain personality types to allow subordinates to work through assignments. If coaching is necessary, you coach them up. I think employees know when a manager doesn't trust/rely on them and I think performance is affected. That was a lesson I had to learn.

It's kinda like riding in the car with a driver who made me nervous. I'm sitting there and suddenly, there's a brake pedal under my foot. When I finally realized I wasn't breathing and my foot was sore from jamming it into the floor, I told myself to just "let it go and allow my wife to drive". She's a better driver because I stopped intervening.

I hope you get your well-deserved vacation and you get to enjoy it.