Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The End.

Well, a chapter in my life is ending.

I found out yesterday that my company will no longer be getting the funding that has kept us afloat for the past almost 3 years.

We were on a 5-year plan - 5 years to make films & try to sell them (some?), try to network & make connections, try to become self-sustaining. We had an angel who has supported us through all of this - sorry an investor - but really an angel. I have been incredibly blessed to work in a field that is challenging & creative; to learn so many different things; to travel a bit, to make new connections & to set my own schedule which has been ever so helpful while raising a toddler.

But...the economy crashed, our investor got a (n expensive) divorce, new projects were started and I think he got bored with us. We are no longer a priority. I get that. I completely & totally understand that we are owed nothing. I am grateful for what I have received.

He said that he will see RILEY through to completion (finishing production, post-production & marketing) but I'm not sure if that includes continuing to get paid. In fact I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

This presents a couple of issues:

1) How can I continue to work a full-time job (sound design, color correction & promotion alone is plenty of work) while not getting paid?

2) If I'm not getting paid how can I afford to take Dahlia to daycare....and if she's with me (which she could be) who can I get all those other things done?

3) If we're just cut off - don't get enough money to finish the film & promotion - what's the point? Why not walk away now? (except for the fact that I am proud of this film and really hope that it gets it's due).

So, lots of thinking, planning, budget making, etc. Trying to figure out if there's something I can do from home to bring in some income....knowing that trying to get a job in this economy in DULUTH while PREGNANT and having a toddler is going to be pretty tough. I'd be lucky to to find a job that would just cover daycare for the month and then what's the point? And employers just LOVE to hire pregnant women, don't they?

*sigh*

So, although in my heart I know it's time to move on...I'm just not quite prepared. I was hoping for a few months to pad out the bank account and build a safety net. My brain hurts from thinking of all the untangling that comes with dissovling a company (ultimately) & the thought of leaving RILEY unfinished really is heartbreaking. I just don't know what the future holds.

11 comments:

Sarita said...

I have no words of wisdom. I am sad that you are facing this. I know you will come up with a creative solution.

Holly said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could you the perfect job so you could feel creative and flexible.

donna said...

I'm sorry sweets, that really sucks.

juliemac_29 said...

Oy. Well, yuck. Let me see what my little brain might come up with for you...hopefully you can make this all work into a positive!

Kate said...

Oh Carrie. You have built something from the ground up and no matter what, that is something to be awesomely PROUD of. You don't quite know where this new information is going to take you. So with that, I say God speed and good luck. I love you.

Raesha D said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry...life is so stressful.

-Peder said...

Sorry Carrie, good luck!

Cello Mama said...

Oh, Carrie. I'm sorry to hear this - it really sucks. I wish I had some brilliant idea or words of wisdom but I don't. All I can say is that you are one of the most resilient people I know. You will find the next path, or it will find you, but I know nothing will keep you still for long. In the meantime, I love you!

GTR said...

Good luck with your next path! I am in a similar situation, but I'm departing from a full-time job mostly by choice because I really need to be part-time and flexible this time of raising kids. Being brave and seeing what's out there!

feisty said...

terrible circumstances....sorry to hear the news. i hope that you can finish up Life of Riley the way it needs to be finished.

pregnant should not be an issue- in fact, i've been on a hiring committee where we chose a pregnant lady once- she was most qualified and had the best interview! she must'vebeen 6-7 months...

Meigan said...

Carrie - I'm so sad to read this!!! This is a chapter that shouldn't end for you. I will keep you in my thoughts & send white light that a plan will come your way.