Well, there's about 30 days left of this pregnancy (according to my official May 1 due date)...I'm at the point where it occupies most of my thinking time these days.
I'm so excited to meet this new little person & to see what he/she looks like, if it is a he or a she! To figure out his/her name; to (most likely) complete our family.
On the other hand I'm a little melancholy about it not being just the three of us any more. I think that sounds kind of bad, but it's true. We've sort of hit our stride with our routine & we're about to throw it all into confusion. I know we will sort it out. Transition is hard.
I'm excited to get my body back! To not have to be *quite so* careful about what I eat...to be able to go for a hike, or heck, a walk! To be able to breathe normally, turn over in bed normally, to wear normal clothes & be able to bend down & pick things up. To see my feet!
On the other hand I will sort of miss being pregnant. Knowing that I am completely providing for & protecting my new baby. I will miss the kicks & wiggles (but not all the bathroom breaks). This is *most likely* the last time I'll be doing this - this is IT! Part of that makes me a little sad.
I'm exited to be home with my two kidlets. To be able to be a very active part of their growth, development, nurturing.
On the other hand, I'm terrified that I will HATE being home all the time. Being 'isolated,' taking Dahlia out of the 'school' that she really enjoys. Will we have enough activities to keep us busy/occupied? Will there be enough social interaction for Dahlia & for me? Will I lose my mind completely?
I'm excited for new baby snuggles...not so much for sleep deprivation.
I'm excited to move on to a new part of my life (lack of job & all) but I'm a little scared to move on to a new part of my life.
The emotions that come with pregnancy are intense. Granted. A *normal* non-pregnant person would be dealing with pros & cons of major life changes (family change, income change, job change) but throw in some crazy hormones, an aching back & pelvis & the sheer excitement + anxiety about physically bringing a human being into this world is almost too much to bear!
I feel like I'm ready and totally not ready. Mentally, emotionally, physically, environmentally (well, the room still isn't 100% finished but so be it). I feel as though this NEW BIG THING could happen any day now. (personally, I'm REALLY hoping that it doesn't happen tomorrow because a birthday on April Fool's Day just doesn't seem right).
One thing I do not have mixed emotions about - bringing this baby into the world in the SPRING time! It feels absolutely magical & I think that will help things around this household immensely. It was tough in the dead of winter to have a newborn, so at least I'm very certain that I'm pleased about that!