So the time has come. The time that I've been dreading. The time to find some daycare for Miss Dahlia.
I hate this. I wish I could stay home with her and devout all my attention to her but I can't. And because I can't, I have to find someone to look after her so that she DOES get loads of attention and I can work (and hopefully continue to bring home a paycheck).
I don't know where to look. I don't know if I should try to find a home daycare or a center or a nanny. I don't know how I"ll be able to afford it. There are so many questions.
There is a daycare a couple houses down from us (home) but I don't have a good feeling about it. Although it would be supremely convenient, I've never seen the kids play outside except when I've seen a couple of them (older) racing down the middle of the street unsupervised. I don't know. Just leaves me with a not-great feeling. I like the idea of finding a nanny type to come to our house, but I know it won't be as flexible (or will it?) than finding a center. And again, not sure how we're going to afford it.
so, that's on my task list for this week (and next week...?) I don't want to give her up. I don't want to lose spending my days with her even though I know that some separation would be good. Basically, I wish I didn't have to work. I could do my own thing and make measly amounts of money & spend a lot of quality time with her. There are so many cool activities to do with wee ones - Hartley Nature Center has a program, the Y has oodles of programs, the Zoo, etc. *sigh* I don't like this.
I know in the end I will feel better - I will get more work done, I will have some 'adult' time for me, but it's still a heart breaking decision.