Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I'm still struggling with my sense of who I am in this business. I know, in my brain, in my heart and in my soul that I am "good enough" and "smart enough" (Thanks Stuart Smalley) to kick ass and get a lot of shit done. But even while having this knowledge there is a fear, or a catch or a....I don't know what that holds me back. I feel like if was free I could do so much more but free of what? Why not test that theory by just plowing ahead? Make changes, take a stand and get the job done...but I don't. I sink back into my role as "secretary" and "brainless-chimp" and just fret and whine about it. I don't know how to stop this cycle. I don't know how to break free. I don't want to give up but I want to give up. I just don't know what to do any more.