Thursday, October 02, 2008


I used to consider myself a writer. That was one of the things I was pretty good at. I wrote my first "novel" in 2nd grade and completed my auto-biography in 3rd grade. I wrote puppet shows and plays and histories of this and that - blahblahblah....I took independent study writing classes throughout high school and was pretty proud of my compilations of work. But then I dated a writer. I dated a writer for a loooooong time and it seemed that there was only room enough for one writer in the house at a time, and it wasn't me. And then something writing esteem disappeared. I don't know if it just evaporated at once or if it was slowly chipped away but it's gone.

So now for work I am writing again. I'm writing a script which I will direct. It's just a short - maybe 10-15 pages and will be maybe....10-12 minutes once it's shot/edited but I'm stressed about it. I had a deadline almost 2 weeks ago which I totally blew because my brain just wouldn't let me finish it. Granted my "writing time" is pretty limited and with a non-napping baby in the house it's a little hard. "I'll write after she goes to bed!" that's when I want to go to bed. Anyway - it's not even that hard of an assignment. I'm adapting a story - not even writing it from scratch out of my head. AND it's a story I've had with me for many many years.

But I finished it this morning. I finished it and sent the rough draft off to my partner to see if it'll fly, to get some feedback and to see how to make it better/move forward. Ugh. It still just feels like crap though. That kind of makes me sad.


Kate said...

I too, used to write a lot, and I don't anymore. In fact, for awhile there, I was forbidden by my therapist to write, because I always made bad into worse and worse. But I've been thinking about it again. I have. And you might be my inspiration

Meigan said...

I think of all of us from HS and how creative so many of us still are - it's really cool. Totally cool.

And how sad is it that my version of creativity is coming up with a new Excel spreadsheet and belly dancing. *sigh* Remember that next time you go finish writing another movie, for pete's sakes! You rock!

carrster said...

Meigan: I actually think Belly Dancing and using Excel in unique ways is pretty damn creative - AND you cook amazing meals for your amazing & very very creative family...It must come from somewhere!

Kate: ah if I can be inspiration than hallelujah. I'm thinking of instigating an online creative group to inspire each other - thoughts?

-Peder said...

I'm sure the writing is better than you think. You sound like you've become a bit self conscious and that can really take it's toll. The cure for that is more writing until the examples of stuff you like is piled all around you.