Anxiety

Today is one of those days. A day where I laid in bed before getting up with my mind racing with all the things I have to do and all the ways I'm failing at them in my life. Not just baby/parenting stuff but my business stuff, my household stuff (not cleaning - bills, upkeep etc), my wife stuff - it sucks. I feel completely immobilized and totally traumatized by all these THINGS that I need/should/want to be doing. I fear for my company because I have not been good at manning the helm. I miss time spent with my husband and although I know that will change it makes me worried. I have so much to do and can't seem to accomplish one single thing.

I think maybe if I were better disciplined I could do it. Or maybe if I were stronger and less whiny I could suck-it-up and get what needs to be done, done...but because I am captain of my own ship these days I just sit here in a whirlpool spinning round and round and not moving anywhere at all.

There are undelivered Christmas presents on my piano. There is paint on the kitchen cabinets that needs to be touched up (for almost 2 years...doh). There are two films in the can that no one will see until they're finished. There are hospital bills to be paid and checking accounts to be balanced (ay yi yi) and yet I sit here....

I feel like the loose ends are unraveling.

Comments

Kate said…
Carrie, you're going to make it my friend. Acceptance is one of the hardest things human beings have to do. Accept that you're a new mom, and that things remain undone. There's nothing that has to get done today that will make a difference a year from today. Really. One day at a time is how I have to live my life, but it works for other people, too. And today if all you do is be the best Carrie you have the energy to be, that IS good enough. Really it is. I love you.
ShellyH said…
Hi, I just found your blog today. I often have days that I feel like that but I also realize that will pass. Keep your chin up and keep on smiling!
Deep breaths and calm! First of all, your kitchen cabinets don't need the paint touched up any time this year (or next!) so you can cross that off your worry list. Next brew a nice cup of tea and take 5-10 minutes just for yourself - glance through magazines or just sit and stare out into space. Either way just clear your mind of those pesky should'vs/must'vs/need'tos. You're doing just fine. Here's happy thoughts going your way. :-)
Cellomama said…
Carrie, I'm finally NOT feeling that way (most of the time) and Kate is 2. I realize that with your business there is an extra pressure that those of us not-self-employed can't really understand, but for a lot of the other stuff (house, husband, self) I do. I know it's especially hard for you, because you're so used to doing so much, and that's going to be a tough thing to get used to as a mom. Your time is just not your own right now. It will be more and more so every week, but right now it's just not.

For me, the best thing to do is to write a list. I'm always hesitant to do it, because I'm afraid it will just stress me out more, but it never does. It gives me a sense of control to just have it all on paper. Sometimes I'll even time it out. Then I go through and rate them for urgency and importance, and focus on them that way. Some things may seem urgent, but they're not really important. Other things are important but won't seem urgent. Some things will be both - I do those first! I put everything on there - even little things like empty the dishwasher, wash towels. While that makes the list long, as I get the little things done I get a wonderful, empowering feeling that helps motivate me for the bigger stuff.

You are not a failure. You are a new mom. One that has spent more time than typical trying to nurse, etc., so naturally you are a bit behind. What has to be done will get done. It always does. What doesn't, can wait.

HUGS to you.
Meigan said…
Um, Carrie, I'm sitting here staring at your returned Christmas card as I type. I guess I'm waiting till I get Dahlia a birth day present to send it. Isn't she like 7 weeks old now???

I'm going to take a camera around my house & car (& office) so you can see just how much I let slide. Honestly, it's why I don't let my mother in my house without 2 months' warning. I think the child advocacy groups would take my kids away from me if they could see our house sometimes!

I'm a firm believer in "you can do it all" - you just have to lower the bar in some areas of your life & you have to be ok to sometimes take a slower pace at things.

Do you have someone that could watch Dahlia for a day so you can go into the office by yourself & just knock out some stuff (including your bills)? Even a half a day of productivity might make you feel better?

Wish I were closer. I'm having inappropriate baby urges & could really use some newborn babysitting time!
Test said…
amen to the previous comments. i just had this convo with pete two nights ago (my inability to be organized, my failure to remember to talk to my sister about &^$# that we've been discussing for weeks now, the fact that i haven't cleaned the g.d. house in weeks and there are people coming over on saturday and that i can't seem to focus at work for the life of me - hence reading blogs all day).

prioritize what you NEED to get done and let the rest of the stuff slide. the house will still stand up even if it is dirty. the cupboards will still open if they have paint on them :)

you are doing just fine and post about this all you want! we're too far away and this way i feel like i can be here for you in some small fashion.

hugs to you.
I couldn't say it any better than everyone else has. You are simply going to have to give yourself permission to not be perfect. Would it help (and is it in the budget) to have someone come in and do your cleaning every other week or so? Just so you don't have to clean toilets and mop floors for right now?

And like Kate said, when Dahlia is a teenager, you won't remember that the checkbook didn't get balanced - you will remember sitting in a chair sniffing her head.
K said…
I can only say amen to what everyone else said. The winter always makes it harder for me to get things done. Believe me, my house is almost NEVER company ready and my bills - well I just do the best I can. You will start to feel a little better - I promise - but there will still be days where everything just seems overwhelming - all my friends with kids have them (and even the ones without :)). Look at it this way - you just added a whole new job to your already busy life. That's going to take some adjusting! Hugs....

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