Monday, November 06, 2006

Changing the "I" to "We"

I did something sort of stupid last week. Well, sort of stupid and sort of thoughtless and just well, not really like me.

I started (continued, I should say) working on wedding thank-yous. I figured since I LIKE to do stuff like this I would do most of them and leave a few for Steve that I know he wants to write - to his parents, his best man, etc. No problem.

Steve was gone on the camping-adventure-from-hell so I sat down with a nice cold diet coke, iTunes and a stack of cards, envelopes, addresses & gift list. I whizzed through almost all the gifts (cash/giftcards left to do) no problem. I tried to sprinkle "I's" and "we's" in as deemed appropriate but really I was wrong.

After Steve got home I asked him if he wanted to read the thank-yous before I sealed them up and sent them off. He did. That night he took the stack to bed with him (riveting nighttime reading!) and read a few. 3. The next day I asked him if they were okay and he sort of had this look on his face. "What? Do you not like them? Did I say something wrong?" And he said "it's no big deal...it's just...." and the words hung in the air over his head and I knew I screwed up.

He said "well, you said 'I can't wait to use the new camping gear.'" (well, I can't but I do see his point). I felt so bad I thought I would die. I took them with me to work and re-read some of them and was completely APPALLED at myself. Sometimes I say "we" and "us" but other times it's like Steve's not even in the room! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Somtimes, for things like the turquoise blue FiestaWare serving bowl I said "I've used it several times already" because I HAVE...but really - it should be WE. WE HAVE. Not just me. I am the biggest lamest loser of a new wife ever.

I have apologized profusely. I have changed the cards before sending them out and I'm trying to be much more thoughtful from here on out.

In my defense (which is sooooo incredibly lame, I know) this was the first time I have ever written thank-yous for two. It's just taking a little bit to get used to.

5 comments:

Holly said...

Carrie, if it helps, two years after marriage I still sometimes sign things by my maiden name and actually had a vmail message at work for a week saying Holly Pichner. Whoops!

I had some of the same challenges and still have to remind myself to sign things Holly, Pete AND Jordan. The insta-family :)

donna said...

Darling, if that's the worst thing you do this year, you are still an angel. He knows you didn't meant to exclude him, and quite honestly, it was a good thing you had him look at them before you mailed. If it had been me in a fit of efficiency, they'd have been long gone before he ever got home. You were able to fix them and all is right in Couple Land! Don't sweat it.

African Kelli said...

This is something you two will laugh over. I would have done the same thing! It takes a while to get adjusted to being part of a pair.
And good for you for writing thank you notes!! I swear it is a dying art.

-Peder said...

It's no big deal. And I'm sure he understands.

Barb said...

Actually, I think it's cool that you guys were able to talk about it, and now you're both on the same page...and that's done. No bad feelings brewing under the surface, no "it's okay" when it's not, etc. So all's good. It's also pretty cool he cared enough to read them. Sounds like you're a good pair.