Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Eh

I'm feeling a bit blah.

I spent the evening with Miss M and I just feel like sometimes I am not a very good mentor. Today I didn't have enough activities to keep going (our "plan" was to work on our knitting projects but I could tell she wasn't that into it). We played a game with dice (Yahtzee!) but to me the dice were too loud, and they were flying everywhere and she was taking so long and I was getting annoyed (within myself - never showed outwardly) and I was sometimes annoyed with her. I feel like the worst human being ON THE PLANET for saying that. I don't know if it's PMS or wedding stress or tiredness or what but I just wasn't into it tonight. :(

This makes me feel like I'm no where near ready for motherhood (yet I think I am) and that I am an awful human being who's trying to do something that maybe I'm not suited for.

Or maybe I'm just having a bad night of it. I don't know.

I'm not giving up I just need to go to bed I guess.

4 comments:

-Peder said...

Hang in there. I'm sure it's just a bad day.

kmd said...

Your being there for her is enough to show you are a caring and thoughtful person. You don't have to always entertain her. I think you'd make a great mom! Don't worry, it's probably just hormonal. I get the worst PMS you've ever seen. The whole world feels out of wack and everything seems wrong. Knowing it's not my fault makes it a bit easier to deal with, although it's still uncomfortable! I hope you're feeling better soon!

Sarah said...

Aw sweetie, Don't be so hard on yourself. You did everything right!
Kids can be annoying. In fact, being a good role model means demonstrating how to handle yourself when you aren't at your best, and especially when things aren't going your way.

As far as motherhood goes, I'm not there yet, but I am sure even the best mother gets frustrated, tired, annoyed, PMS-y, etc. The good mom part rests in how you handle it. (That's when we hand them off to our awesome husbands, right? :)

weeone said...

My dear, you can ask any parent - even when you are mentally ready for kids: your children will want to play when your are tired, sleep when you want to play, run into the mud right before a photo shoot and drive you crazy when they try to strike out on their own. And they simply don't pick up their towels no matter how many times you say it when they turn 13 (hypothetically speaking of course - Jordan is an angel!!) Just because you have an off night doesn't mean you won't make a good momma :)