Naturally Optimistic

Well, it finally happened. Someone finally got too far into my daughter's personal space as I stood, deer in headlights, watching. Okay - it's not that bad but it irritated both Steve & I although we're too "nice" to say anything. We're at Sears doing some final appliance shopping (ugh!)and our sales guy wasn't there so we were just re-checking what were our favorites and another guy comes up - starts talking to us, tells us he can write up the order for us since our guy isn't there (write it up FOR our guys since it's all on commission). Anyway - he starts talking to Dahlia, telling us about his 26 kids (!!) and even more grandkids and that babies & kids get along with him really well. He then pats her head and asks how old she is. When we tell him almost 9 months. He asks if she's walking. When we say 'no' he is surprised and assumes then that she must be crawling...when we say 'not yet' he shakes his head and says th...

I am getting fed up. Fed up with people who "commit" to something only then to flake out. When I say I'll do something - whether it's social, volunteer, work-related, etc I stick to it. If I absolutely can't keep my commitment because of something that happens I TELL whoever it is that I have committed to that I won't be able to do it, make it, etc. People are flaky. I know this. I know that my little life - social, creative, business, etc is only the most important TO ME but still - come on. If you're going to flake out on me, at least have the balls to tell me. Don't make me beg for you to REcommit at the last minute. I'm just sick of it.

Okay - here it goes. I'm going to complain. I feel like shit. Absolute crud. Sunday was beautiful and I'm not sure if I just overdid it or if I picked up a bug or what. I ache everywhere (but particularly back/hips/legs which makes me think Baby B's having a growing spurt). I am hot cold hot cold hot cold. I have a headache A LOT and only sometimes does it go away with tylenol. I am not sleeping for crap. I wake up at least every 20 minutes IF I fall asleep in the first place. Therefore I am super low energy, I hurt and clearly am NOT getting enough sympathy! I'm also not very hungry which makes me worried because I want to make sure Baby B is getting enough to eat. Right now I'm going to lay down as I'm sitting here shivering. If this is pg related, I shouldn't be complaining because I've had a very uneventful, unstressful, un-sick, unhurting pregnancy thus far. And I know a lot of the things (like my general uncomfortableness, lack of sleep, etc) will ...

I found this amongst my "journal" writings today.... Isn’t there more than this? Shouldn’t I be doing something else? I’m getting very sick and tired of feeling this way. Am I a productive member of society? Am I making a difference in this world? Am I just scraping by? What am I supposed to be doing? I get up every morning and go to work and contemplate what the hell I’m supposed to e doing with my life. I don’t think it’s this. And I don’t like coming off crabby and depressed to my friends or to Steve. Steve is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m extremely happy and grateful that he came into my life. But the rest of my life? Pffft. What the fuck? I never thought that I would end up in this position. Can’t I have a ‘job’ which I love and which I want to spring out of bed every day for and at the end of it all I will have changed someone’s life or affected people in a positive way? Ack. I can't believe I'm about to get that "job" and hopeful...

As tonight was "date night" we went to the movies. We finally saw AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH - romantic, no? It was shown at a local church here (on loan with permission from Paramount) followed by a discussion and call to action (we're really racy, aren't we?). It was a very informative documentary, continues to scare the shit of out of me and I'm trying to find my place in the "hope" category instead of just despair. (I'm not having a particularly good day...). As always we're on a quest to lead a simpler, greener life and spreading the word can only help. This is scary. This is real. Action needs to be taken. Now. Now time for that bubble bath and sparkling wine....

The City of Duluth (my beloved town) is right now considering selling (and continuing to sell) off parcels of tax foreited lands. These are often lands that were once considered "protected" as their classification is conservation. Due to idiotic running of certain aspects of the city (*cough*retiree health care*cough*) we are ALL now going to pay. Not only with higher taxes but also losing our precious greenspace which makes Duluth such a beautiful and unique place. What's different about Duluth than most cities of it's size (86,000 pop)is it's geography and the fact that up to this point "sprawl" hasn't happened. Well, there is that little matter of the Miller Hill Mall region (gag) and our "suburb" (ha) Hermantown (sprawl is pretty much all it is). We have OLD old old neighborhoods and OLD old old houses - some are beautiful examples of Victorian masterpieces, some are shitholes that landlords have turned into barely habitable (and are of...