Naturally Optimistic

After my ECFE/Daycare Teachers Christmas Gift Poll, I decided to just do gifts for the Daycare providers, and skip ECFE (since there's like 8 of them and we only see them once a week). But...my budget is tight this year. I'm trying to be more frugal, to stash more cash in the bank, to prepare for the long, cold, dark winter ahead (and the non-productive potentially income-deficient maternity leave in my future). So instead of going out and buying some tchotke or baking something (which they probably get a TON of) I made some card packs. I made each of the 4 teachers a 5-pack of Thank You cards. I figure I ALWAYS need thank you cards after the holidays, and they probably do too (good lord, I hope there are still other people out there who send thank you cards). I included 5 envelopes & 5 stamps as well, and I packaged them in cello bags. This is the best part: I didn't buy a thing (save for the stamps). I used card stock & decorative paper that I've had for YEARS...

So as I was leaving Dahlia's daycare this morning, there was a sign on the door that says "we have one confirmed case & one suspected case of H1N1." Awesome. I talked to one of the teachers and she said this just came up yesterday. I'm trying not to allow myself to get swept up in a panic, but it's easy to do when people are shrieking about it everywhere. We've been very vigilant about hand washing & all that, but with toddlers, it's hard to keep toys & things out of their mouths. Ugh. I didn't know whether or not I should take her back home with me and say screw work...or if I should leave her there. I still don't know. I'm sitting here wondering if what I did was the right thing. My doctor told me they don't even want me 'caring' for anyone who becomes sick with the flu. Great! So what would I do? Go live somewhere else? That is heartbreaking on too many levels. Time to inflate the bubble around our house, I think. I a...

Dahlia has officially graduated from the infant room to the toddler room! She's been so good all week. No crying at daycare, in a pretty great mood when we get her home in the evenings, been going to bed pretty well, and we're once again working on the "sleeping-in-her-own-bed" thing which is going...medium. I'm sure I've jinxed myself now... She's also WALKING so much! It's amazing to see her make all these changes & leaps developmentally!! I'm a proud mama!

So yesterday & today when I dropped Dahlia off at daycare - she didn't cry! It wasn't even like...anything. I just handed her over and she was fine. No big production, no keening, no wailing...no arms outstretched to her Mama.... *sniff* Now why does THAT make me sad. hmph.

I didn't cry today! I am improving, although Miss Dahlia, not so much. It's so sad to see her reach out for me and then put her hands on her head as if the world is falling. It breaks my heart. Hopefully she will start settling down soon. It's a beautiful day today and I know they're planning on going for a walk as soon as everyone had breakfast. Oh my sweet little pumpkin.

Day 3 drop off. Not good, for either of us but my trick today was I drove! So immediately ran to my car and sped away - that way I couldn't hear the crying. I also find if I distract myself as much as possible, that's better. But now I feel the need to call and see how she's doing. My heart? Still aches. **Update** Just talked to the center. She's napping! In a crib! Whohooo! That's a major accomplishment. I guess she really needs to have a person, a big person, near her at all times. She wants nothing to do with other children, she wants her personal adult playing with, attending to her at all times. *sigh* I know this will get better...I just hope it's not too long of a road. She ate lots of mac & cheese (that a a girl!) and enjoyed sitting at the 'big kids' counter and doing a puzzle with the cook. Didn't like going back into a highchair so much for lunch. It's a slow process....hopefully it'll start to go a bit smoother....

...and no one said it'd be this hard.... Day 2 - full day of daycare for Miss Dahlia. Dahlia & Mommy? Aren't doing that great. She has been uber clingy since last week's adventures in Daycare...she only wants ME now which is a change from her previous status of only wanting DADDY. She's fine when I'm not around, but if I'm in & out of the room, have to run to the store, leave the room so Daddy can put her to bed, etc. then it's freak out time. So, I knew today would be tough. We walked over to the center and went in with little to no fussing. As soon as I set her down though she started crying. I sat with her for a while and tried to get her distracted by a book or toy, didn't work. Finally the daycare teacher said "okay Dahlia, give Mommy a hug and then we'll go read a book." That didn't go over well, but I sort of got a hug..and HUGE tears (her not me). She quieted down pretty quickly, but by time I was walking down the block ...

Definitely harder for me than her...but she didn't like the whole "dropping off" bit today. :( Pooey Clearly she is bored with this photoshoot and is ready to go... Outside the infant room at "school."

Just walked over and dropped Miss Dahlia off at daycare. *sigh* She wanted to play right away...I wanted to hang around and make sure she was "okay." I left. I felt a heavy sadness descend. I walked home while crying behind my big sunglasses. It's sooooooooooo quiet here. Even the kitty is quiet. I'm not sure I'll get a lot done this morning, even though I had big plans to. Hmph

GAH I'm behind on posting. I know! I was reprimanded by someone today (you know who you are) because I haven't posted yet about some BIG NEWS!! The first big news is that when I was in Los Angeles, Dahlia took her first all-by-herself steps while at her Grandma B's! Eeek! Now since then I've seen her take a couple, she took more for my Mom when we were in Longville last weekend...and since then? Not so much...but the important thing is, it has begun. At long last. The other big news - DAHLIA HAS A TOOTH! And what I mean by "has" is, is that it is just breaking through - I mean, it's through just not very far. Very exciting! That was discovered last Thursday, much to my shock. I always am checking but til now hadn't ever found anything! Might have explained why she was a BEAR last week. Poor thing. Now I'm checking regularly for more breakthroughs...none as of yet. I was at my folks' house this weekend and went through some of my old things (ay ...

It was okay. Don't get me wrong. I had no BAD feeling about this place whatsoever. It was open & clean...there is a cook that comes in and makes breakfast & lunch daily (uh, can I go there?); there are age appropriate activities & potty training & nap time & books & songs, etc. There is a playground and outside play is encouraged. I liked the director & the teachers. It was fine. But it was a daycare. There ya go. There's my hangup. So we'll keep it in mind. We have a couple other places to inquire about/look at and we're also trying to figure out if we could share a nanny with a few other people. We'll see what works. If I could I would stay home. It's such a weird time in my life. I have my dream job in two places. *sigh*

Okay - off to view daycare option #1. Wish me luck.

So I haven't made any phone calls yet about daycares. Not one. I did make a list of potential providers in nearish neighborhoods, I've gotten a few suggestions from people and I've been thinking about it a lot but I have made no action. What is my problem? Argh. I need to just do this and get the thing settled but obviously there is something holding me back. I'm procrastinating so much that I actually did all of my "FlyLady Missions" this morning before I left for work! I made the bed, and swished & swiped, I made my grocery list, started some laundry, threw junk away, swept & mopped my kitchen floor! Wow. So procrastination in one area, leads to accomplishment in others, I guess.

So the time has come. The time that I've been dreading. The time to find some daycare for Miss Dahlia. I hate this. I wish I could stay home with her and devout all my attention to her but I can't. And because I can't, I have to find someone to look after her so that she DOES get loads of attention and I can work (and hopefully continue to bring home a paycheck). I don't know where to look. I don't know if I should try to find a home daycare or a center or a nanny. I don't know how I"ll be able to afford it. There are so many questions. There is a daycare a couple houses down from us (home) but I don't have a good feeling about it. Although it would be supremely convenient, I've never seen the kids play outside except when I've seen a couple of them (older) racing down the middle of the street unsupervised. I don't know. Just leaves me with a not-great feeling. I like the idea of finding a nanny type to come to our house, but I know it won...