Naturally Optimistic

Well, today marks the last day of NaBloPoMo - what a fast month! I cannot believe how fast it went. And wow - I am more boring than ever. I guess maybe that's why I get few comments. Eh, whatever. It was a minor victory for me. A small goal that I can "feel good" about accomplishing. I probably won't write tomorrow because I am really out of things to say - as surprising as that may be to those of me who know me IRL. So good night. Sleep tight. See you on the flip side.

Back in Duluth after the long weekend. It was great - hanging out with family, seeing some friends, eating (as mentioned before) and relaxing. I had a lovely time. Tomorrow it's back to reality. Pooey. I can't believe Thanksgiving is done and we're on to the Christmas season!! Crazy! Where is the time going? Okay - bathtime for Dahlia!

I have been eating solidly for 3 days straight. It's great. I do not seem to get full. Well, and if I DO get full, within 30-45 minutes I'm ready for more! Turkey, mashed potatoes, veggies, sweet potatoes, rolls, pie, leftovers, pizza, popcorn, more leftovers, ham, cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, salads, more pie, more leftovers - I'm in heaven! And very thankful for no gestational diabetes (at least not yet!)

I'm sitting here with Kate the Great & my friend Brian from high school having a shirley temple & enjoying good conversation. My tummy has been full for two solid days & will be stuffed tomorrow too. Okay this is boring...more later.

So many things to be thankful for... A few.... my healthy & happy family my beautiful, smart, funny daughter a healthy (& easy) pregnancy so far friends near & far (IRL & online) our house, our jobs, the food on our table being inspired & wanting to create Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

We watched the first 64 minutes of The Life of Riley yesterday. I must say I'm a little disappointed. There are so many things I wish I could've done differently if I had had my head screwed on right when we were shooting it. It's easy to say that now, a few months after the fact, but when it was happening I was under a lot of pressure for the usual (and unusual) sources and it was probably the most stressful, unpleasant things I've ever done. I think with some re-working, moving things around and cutting things that are dull & make it drag, it will be okay. There is really beautiful photography & some really great performances. Once we have the piece sound-designed & color corrected it will turn out a-okay. We're using a lot of really cool local music (& even some Martin Zellar music - finally!) which really adds to the piece. I'm excited for it to all be put together. Sometimes it's hard to see it as a whole when it's in pieces. As far

Check out the latest with White Man's World writer/director Jason Page here .

Today, for the 2nd time in as many months, with a shopping cart obscenely loaded with detrius of American commercialism totaling hundreds of dollars (ugh), I arrived at the Target cashier with no wallet. Awesome. Raining both days. Thankfully Dahlia was not with me today. It was easier to run back to my MIL's to retrieve said wallet (which was in the diaper bag - handy!). How annoying.

I had a dream last night that I was playing ping pong (but on a court more like tennis) with Tom Cruise. I'm pretty sure he was cheating.

I'm excited because this year I am eligible to vote for the Independent Spirit Awards! This is my first year as a member of a voting organization (MN IFP) and because of this I get mailed DVD screeners of the nominated films - which is perfect for me because I live in Duluth with a toddler and thusly do not get out to see many films! I cannot wait! It's all very strict & hush-hush. I am to DESTROY all DVDs after I watch them, or send them back to the the sponsoring committee. I think it'll be fun!

Goodbye my formerly trusty 2002 Ford Focus. You have served me well over the past 7 years. 76,000 miles, two road trips out west (including the "I'm-turning-30" trip to Yellowstone & the Proposal trip to Oregon & Washington; you've carried me, our family, all of our crap daily for a long time. I will admit I was a bit sad when I walked away from you for the last time. *sniff* Hello to my new 2005 Toyota Highlander! Hello to reliability, 4WD, lots of cargo room, a tow package & roof rack. Hello to being able to drive up my driveway in the winter. Hello to many camping trips in the future and many family adventures.

Of getting up at 6am. I would say I'm not really a *morning* person, but also not a *night owl* either. I prefer mid-day. Dahlia's still sleeping. Always seems such a waste to get up while she still slumbers! Ah well, gotta be out the door early today. Oh and my throat is sore. Lovely. If only I could take my beloved Zicam. Does anyone know if straight up zinc has the same cold-shortening effect?

I'm trying to reconcile my inner-hippie-green-living-self with purchasing a SUV which gets not great gas mileage and is BIG. I love having a tiny little car that I can squeeze into virtually any spot, I only have to fill up twice a month and has a relatively small 'foot print' in general. I hate also having a car that is so small that trying to go away for the weekend is a tetris-like exercise in packing. I say to myself "I don't drive *that* much." My commute is negligible (1 mile? 2?) The only other places I go regularly are to the grocery store (3 miles?) and it's rare that I hit the road and drive down to Austin (although if I had a car that wouldn't feel as if it were to fly off the road, perhaps I would go more often!) or on road trips...but I still feel guilty. How do I balance out my AMERICANISM (ie: lots of stuff, big car, following the herd) with my GREENIE-WANNABE? If someone says 'hybrid' I will say YOU'RE RIGHT! But sadly it

...that I need a new car...BADLY. I was driving home from errand running this morning on Arrowhead Road...(just off Haines Rd for any Duluthians). It's 41 degrees outside but in the shade some areas are still "frosty" from last night. Not "icy" just "frosty" I started fishtailing (!!!!!) in one of these areas. Scared the crap out of me (going about 45. Lovely). Made me want to stop the car and walk home (but that would entail several miles + lugging groceries = um, no.) I'm going car shopping on Thursday - I HAVE to find something. This will not do. (thankfully I was in the car by myself!)

So as of Saturday I'm 17 weeks pregnant! How did that happen? It seems to be going incredibly fast. Maybe it's because I'm much busier (re: toddler) than I was the first time around. According to my scale I have not gained any way (lost a couple of pounds) but it's always different at the doctor's office. I go in today for an appt and my 1-hour GTT. Ugh. 11 weeks earlier than normal due to my past history. I'm praying to God that I pass because the thought of going 23 weeks on a restricted diet really bums me out. Seriously. I know it is a good thing to find out and of course I want the baby & myself to be healthy but it is a bummer. Yeah, it wasn't that bad last time when I got into it and I did eat incredibly healthy, but the holidays are tough...and sometimes when you're pregnant and STARVING and all you want for dinner is M&Ms and salt & vinegar chips, well, then sometimes you indulge...but I can't. Or I *might not be able to* do that

...for today I'm uninspired.

So I'm looking for a new car. "New" to me, that is. I think I have it narrowed down but I waffle a little bit. I'm pretty sure I want to go with a Toyota Highlander. They seem to get great customer satisfaction reviews, hold on to their re-sale value like crazy (ie: they're expensive even with a lot of miles on them), I know it'll last a long time and it would have enough space for 2 kids, all of our crap, a canoe, bikes, etc etc. I also like the Honda CRV, but I fear ultimately that it's not "big enough" - I hate saying that because I love small cars and would love to continue to drive one, but I know how we are. I know how we are ESPECIALLY when packing up for a weekend or even an overnight trip somewhere! We have a lot of crap! I don't want to be stuck in a car (which I hope to have for 10+ years) that I don't think will 'fit.' (I looked at a CRV when I bought my Focus...I really loved it but it was too much $$ and used!) Part

So I got home last night from Minneapolis and was exhausted. I went to bed almost immediately. I woke up at 2:30 with terrible stomach cramps...followed by...nastiness (I won't go into detail). Ugh. My back aches & my stomach has continued to cramp throughout the day. I'm pretty sure I picked up a bug...somewhere. Maybe it's Dalhia's that she had earlier this week. It sucks. I have been miserable all day. Mostly I've just laid around while trying to 'entertain' Dahlia. Thank god for PBS. Also - thank god she took a 2 1/2 hour nap. So did I. I hope this goes away quickly. My stomach feels *okay* for the most part but my back continues to ache and make me feel gross. My stomach is growling - I haven't eaten in over 24 hours so I am going to do that now. Oh - I got my Cricut yesterday...I feel so crappy I haven't even opened it! Sometimes the day you plan is not the day that turns out at all.

One more picture from our beautiful fall bike ride.

On Saturday, it was gorgeous, so we took a lovely bike ride from Leif Ericksson park to 47th Ave E. (that's about 3 miles or so). We got to check out the new part of the Lake Walk which was opened this summer. It is so much fun to ride along. I hate riding my bike in traffic and I like it even less when we're towing a baby! It makes me nervous. But being on a bike path rocks. Dahlia was whiny about having to wear a helmet but once we started going she calmed down...and then took a lovely nap. We promised we'd go to the beach (to which she replied "Yay!") so on the way back we stopped on a rocky shore and she played & played with "a-bubba" (I don't know why she says that when she throws rocks). It was gorgeous, warm, sunny, the lake was brilliant blue. I felt really lucky to take advantage of such a great day.

Hard to believe that 34 years ago the weather was so nasty that a 729 ft long ship carrying iron ore and weighing 13,632 tons could just disappear in the tumultuous waters of Lake Superior. Hard to believe when this November 10th is so incredibly beautiful. RIP to the crew of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Your mystery might never be solved...but you'll never be forgotten.

After many weeks of going back & forth with 'should-we'shouldn't-we' regarding the H1N1 vaccine, today Dahlia & I were both vaccinated. Reasons against were simply - well, the paranoia about vaccinations in general...both for her and for me (being pregnant). Mercury and/or other preservatives, random adverse side-effects, etc. Reasons for included well, not wanting to get sick with this nasty flu-bug...and since I'm in the highest risk category and Dahlia's dealing with high-exposure potential at her daycare, we just thought it was right. There hasn't been any H1N1 vaccines in Duluth (or very little as far as I know, but today they started doing a "clinic" at the convention center for the highest risk group - until supplies run out. I contacted both my OB office & the Peds office and they both said if we want to get the vaccine to head there. So we did. It took about an hour & twenty minutes, Dahlia was great - she mostly entertain

I was afraid I wouldn't get a chance to take Dahlia outside & enjoy FALL with all the leaves, bright blue skies and temps that didn't require a snowsuit. Luckily the past couple of days have been nothing but gorgeous. On Friday I worked from home and mostly spent the day hanging out with her. It was great. We played, we read, we had snacks, we jumped in the leaves, we looked at bugs, we napped (well, she napped). It makes me want to stay home with her every day. I need to figure out how to make that happen. Last year she *liked* the leaves but didn't really play in them. This year, she LOVED them! She shrieked & squealed & had a fantastic time.

My short film Jimmy Black's Cadillac is playing tonight at the new Zinema 2 in downtown Duluth. I'm particularly proud of this achievement because it was written, directed and edited by ME with some help (but not a lot) form outside forces. See? MY name is on the poster! Crazy, huh? And I didn't ask to show my film, I was asked. So that's cool. Should be fun - if you're in Duluth - check it out!

Yesterday afternoon, around 3:30 as I was coming home from running some errands, traffic was a little backed up at a 4-way stop, nearish my house. That is unusual for that intersection & for that time of day. I noticed a group of teenagers on the corner/at one house in particular and something was strange. I couldn't tell if they were fighting or goofing around or what. Then I saw a girl run up to one of the guys (who was bent over and looked like his eyes were in pain) and gave him a cup of water which he tried to rinse his eyes off with. Hmmm....was there a fight or something previously? Did he get something in his eyes? But traffic was still stopped and I couldn't figure it out. Then some of the kids starting crossing the street - willy nilly - in front of my car, in front of other cars...the pattern (as usual) guys go first, and girls run after trying to intervene, stop them, or something. I look to my left and there's a single guy yelling (back) at two of the first

I will be without Internet (on a computer) tomorrow, so I'm practicing my iPhone blogging. So far so good!

Today is the day that Charter (finally) comes and disconnects our cable TV. It will be a good thing - it will save us money. We don't really watch cable anyway. Last night was the first time in....AGES...that Steve & I watched TV together, and we watched V which is on ABC. Hopefully I will not miss it. Now, if only I could get my laptop & TV to talk to each other then I could watch Netflix on demand on the big screen!

...Fire burn and cauldron bubble." Things are brewing around here that are not necessarily good. Oh Shakespeare, I am sick of the drama.

Mommy & Dahlia at the daycare Halloween party. The only time I could get her to look at me & smile.... At Grandma B's for some trick-or-treating (and what Steve would look like with a mullet).

I have to tell you - even though our Halloween "party" (really just a gathering of a very few friends) was smaller than I would've liked we had a really nice time. Steve made tuna burgers, which were a huge hit; I crafted some devilishly good dip and some 'witch finger' breadsticks and silly monster cupcakes. Food was eaten, ambiance was good, conversations were interesting. It was nice. It got late too quickly and we realized we were FAR too tired to go out. It was midnight after all. So we went to bed. And slept. For 8 solid, non-interrupted by babies or cats, hours. It was awesome. And then I laid in bed a little longer, just because I could. That's not to say I didn't miss my little pumpkin - I did, terribly. It was the first night that I had ever spent AT HOME without her. Strange. I missed her cuddles this morning too, but I will admit it was nice to sleep in. Very nice. We picked her up after a leisurely breakfast, paper-reading & showers. She w