Happy Birthday, August
Oh August. My sweet child. My short tempered child. My child who adores his sister and loves his alone time with Mama when she's away. My boy who could be outside all hours of the day & night. For whom we are currently fencing in the backyard because he is an escape artist awaiting opportunity. My August.
Today is your birthday.
Two years old? How can this be? How can it feel like you just arrived and yet feel like I've known you forever? How can time bend and contort in such a way. Years of sleep deprivation? Perhaps. Getting to know your unique personality? Yes. Being so in love with you that I literally could consume your very being? Definitely.
You're such a big boy these days. Climbing up the playground structures like they're nothing higher than the couch. Which happens to make me a little nervous. I try to stand back and watch. See how you figure things out, accept help (or not) from your big sister, fall, get up, try again. I try to only step in when it's obvious to me that you have no clue how to go down those bars and you drop your feet over the side, sliding on your belly because you trust that something, of course, will be there. It's me. Your Mama. I know it won't always be so easy to catch you, so I try to step in quickly when I can.
You, of a blossoming personality & vocabulary. I sometimes worry that you're not putting words together as fast as your sister did. But then I have to tell myself to take a step back and relax. And quite frankly you have her TOTALLY beat on everything from walking, running, jumping, climbing, growing teeth, etc. You say lots of 'words' to us and slowly, day by day, their meaning is becoming clearer and clearer. At least to me. I know if you want a 'nack' (snack) or waawaa (water), if you want me to 'ing' (sing) to you or if you'd rather play with your 'teens' (trains). I know that you will be so much happier when you can communicate what you need and want better. I am eagerly awaiting that day - trying to not "wish away" time in the process. These days are precious. I know this even though somedays bedtime cannot come soon enough.
You are my snuggle-bug. There is almost nothing in the world better than sitting with you in your darkened bedroom, singing your favorite (!) jazz tunes to you - A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square, Moonlight in Vermont, My Funny Valentine....and you bury your face in my neck. If I move my head away you deftly take your hand and pull me back to nuzzle you closer. I wouldn't change those times for the world. And so many times I've gotten up with you in the night - to comfort, to calm - and sometimes my patience is at the end as I count all the missed hours of sleep, the crabbiness and irritability that follows me through my day - but these times are golden. I don't mind any more (well, don't hold me to that...) but I accept these times and I cherish them because I know soon they will be gone. I hold you close and sing to you, you fall asleep against my chest just like you've done a hundred times before. And I love it.
Happy 2nd Birthday, Tooter (Dahlia's nickname for him)
love,
Mama
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