Naturally Optimistic

Oh! And with that last post I have officially & successfully completed NaBloPoMo !! Yay!

Today I am wearing soft contacts again. I can't feel them! Hallelujah! Here's the story....when I first got contacts back in the 10th grade I opted for gas permeables as a couple of my friends had them and really liked them. They were more expensive in the present but lasted longer than soft contacts and therefore a better long term option price wise. Oh and my sister kept ripping her (non-disposable) soft contacts so my parents agreed that it was a good option. I had problems throughout high school with the contacts. Some days they were great - some days they caused me eye squinting shut agonizing pain. Some days they'd just pop out in the stairwell between classes. That was fun. My first year in Los Angeles I again was having contact/eye problems (It's an ongoing "theme"). I couldn't wear them so took them out at work and Lo and Behold! I could see! It was amazing. No glasses, no contacts for the first time since 3rd grade and I could see wonderfully! I ...

Steve & I went to Barnes & Noble last night where I purchased this: I am so excited to make some projects! Although it'll have to wait til the New Year because right now I'm stacked with Christmas projects & upcoming honeymoon (have I mentioned that we're going on vacation in a mere 4 days?? huh? Have I? hee hee) I love browsing a good book store...I see books everywhere that I want to read, own, linger on, study every page, get lost in - ah! I love it! But I want to BUY BUY BUY which is unnecessary - (unless they're good reference books) - and I'm currently trying to download my library by selling books on Amazon and giving them away so....as much as I drool.....I know I should not purchase. We spent a wedding gift card at B&N tonight so I don't even feel guilty about buying a little something for me this holiday season! Hopefully it's a gift that'll keep on giving.

We've been throwing our loose change into the piggy bank since we booked our honeymoon trip last July. Today Steve took in our aluminum recycling (also designated honeymoon cash) and so we decided to see how much our little pig held. Grand total? $68.12 Whohoooo! Sounds like one dinner out to me! *sigh* It's the simple things...right? *sorry the picture is blurry

Although I'm feeling a bit sick to my stomach right now...the budgeting crisis has passed. In fact it appears that we are not asking for enough money! Huh. How can that be? More details to come...but let's just say I'm getting closer and closer to what I want to be when I grow up. Well, one of the things, anyway. ;)

Gah! Just realized that I put together a budget for some new...um...gear and didn't include ANY wiggle room for things like shipping, taxes, etc! FUCK. Meeting's in 1 1/2 hours...anyone have any magical formulas for removing taxes from things you have to buy that are fairly expensive? Didn't think so. Dang.

Hmmm, I was just washing a paint brush (the front closet looks fantastic, btw) and my hands when I lost control of the "hose" we have hooked up to the laundry sink in the basement and it went crazy! Think cartoon-fire-house.... DOUSING ME! I am such an idiot. doh.... And on that note, I think I will be relaxing for the rest of the evening! Sadly, there is no video.

Just returned from our Thanksgiving get away to glorious Austin! We had fun - visited family members, ate until we couldn't see straight, enjoyed a few cocktails, saw my Grandma R. and TONS of family which was really really wonderful, went for walks, saw the new James Bond movie, ate Mexican food, played games and I even went through some mystery boxes that were still at parents' house (oh my - more to do...). I'm tired though and this darkness creeping in thing...at 4pm? is getting sickening already. Oh well, in less than a week I'll be in Florida and in less than a month the days will be getting longer!

My new husband My family My friends My health My kitties My home So many many more....that's just scratching the surface.

Photo by Sarah Holden Photography Good Lord I almost forgot!!! Today is the 2nd month "anniversary" of Steve & I's wedding day!

Heh...this is so me! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Thanksgiving Horoscope for Virgo You're the sign most likely to bake up elaborate dishes and make beautiful centerpieces. Your signature dish: Turkey, cooked to perfection Your signature dessert: A pumpkin tiramisu that you thought up This holiday: Resist the urge to clean up - unless you're hosting Thanksgiving at your own place! What's Your Thanksgiving Horoscope?

And since no one is here today and things are a wee bit slow....here we go! This is from Peder ... 1. What is your dream vacation? Having a couple of months to really backpack around Europe...of course also being able to afford luxury hotels when we're sick of the tent.... 2. First music album you owned? WHAM! Make it Big 3. Song you sing in the shower? I don't usually sing the shower as Steve's still sleeping. 4. First dream job when you were a child? Artist 5. Worst job you've ever had? Remote Encoding Center - part of my soul died. 6. Favorite spice? is "salt" a spice? ha. I'm so boring. 7. Old TV show you wish you had on DVD? Friends, Fawlty Towers or Monty Python's Flying Circus 8. Favorite game to play? I love all games! 9. Least favorite color? neon anything 10. Worst song ever? Achey Breaky Heart I now tag Holly & Michelle (via MySpace) to play along!

The latest news on my Grandma is well, pretty much the same. My Dad and some of his siblings met with the hospice nurse to find out about that for an option. Unfortunately there are not any openings for quite a while. The nurse said that with this type of cancer there is not much pain. She will just continue to grow weaker and sleep more. This is the part that is the kicker - and so very much my Grandma.... She's making her own funeral plans!! *sigh* That speaks volumes to me. I get to see her tomorrow.

I submitted Newton's Disease to several festivals last week. I am not one to wait with baited breath for the results because so far we are a big fat ZERO for festival acceptance. So.... Washington DC International Film Festival Sedona Film Festival & Workshop Seattle International Film Festival (again) SxSW (again) Ashland Independent Film Festival And not submitted yet, but soon, Fargo Film Festival (why not? It's close!) OBVIOUSLY if my film gets into a festival I will blather about that nonstop...but so far...

I'm a huge dork (noted) but I'm so excited because I sold my first item on the Amazon Marketplace! I listed a book last night and this morning I had the "ship now" notice in my inbox. Yay! I've listed many things in the past and they've never sold so this is a real treat. Granted I am making approximately $4 but still! That's $4 I didn't have yesterday!

Well, the prognosis is not good. My grandma has about 3 weeks (or now less....) to live. *sigh* Her lung cancer (non-smoker, btw) is spreading very rapidly and she's elected to forgo treatment. She's at home on oxygen. She's surrounded by a lot of family (she has 9 children) and although she's weak and tired she's not in pain. Thankfully. My Dad (eldest son) and some other siblings are getting together today to figure out hospice care although my grandma would like to stay at home for as long as possible. It's strange when something like this is so inevitable. When it stares you straight in the eye and in a way you're waiting for it. It's hard and uncomfortable and I don't like it one bit. I also don't want her to suffer and I know that when she's ready to go we all have to let her go. It still sucks. My family is very close. We're loud and exuberant and (obnoxious) and loving. Always there for one another; always pitching in or supportin...

Head on over to Donna's place and wish her a big fat congrats on the new arrival of her little one - Bridget! Congrats Donna & Jake and welcome Bridget! :)

Today we went up the shore to Silver Bay & Grand Marais where Steve had some inspections to do. I went along for the ride and read, knitted and kept him company. After the 2nd inspection we drove 14 miles farther up the shore (to about I don't know - fairly close to the Canadian border) to Judge Magney State Park where we hiked to the Devil's Kettle. The Brule river splits above the "upper falls" and half of the river goes along it's merry way and the other half drops into a deep dark cauldron - and they don't know WHERE the water comes out. It is truly remarkable and was my first time there. It's mysterious and loud and lovely and I took lots of pictures...which I will upload tomorrow. The hike was a good workout although it got rather chilly and I'm so glad I went along. After the hike we stopped at "Sven & Ole's" for pizza in Grand Marais and then headed back 90 miles to Duluth. So much for cleaning my closet today or working ...

As tonight was "date night" we went to the movies. We finally saw AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH - romantic, no? It was shown at a local church here (on loan with permission from Paramount) followed by a discussion and call to action (we're really racy, aren't we?). It was a very informative documentary, continues to scare the shit of out of me and I'm trying to find my place in the "hope" category instead of just despair. (I'm not having a particularly good day...). As always we're on a quest to lead a simpler, greener life and spreading the word can only help. This is scary. This is real. Action needs to be taken. Now. Now time for that bubble bath and sparkling wine....

So I did what I think many brides do relatively soon after their big day....I changed my hair! For so long I was growing it out so I would have options on my wedding day...and then it just got to the scragglemuffin stage and I couldn't take it any more. The jury's still out on the new 'do. Steve likes it (that's helps) and I'm sure I'll have trouble doing anything with it (not good) but ah well...sometimes a change can do you good.

(photo courtesy of www.spaceevent.com ) Steve discovered last night that the Space Shuttle Discovery is scheduled to launch while we're in Florida on our honeymoon! Although we're not really going to be near Cape Canaveral (or what, Kennedy Space Center...what's it called these days? Am I old? *sigh*). It's a night launch and who knows if it'll actually happen (you know how these things go) but I think we're going to try to watch. How often do you get to see something like that(when you live in Minnesota) live? Yes, the countdown is on...t-minus 16 days and counting til we take-off for our Honeymoon - whohooo!

I don't know why the wedding is on my brain so much lately. Maybe because we just ordered some goodies from Target with our gift cards (set of sheets for the bed, a couch cover, 4 water goblets) or maybe because we got a wedding gift yesterday from my friends Kevin & Daren who were unable to come to the wedding (wine glasses & cheese set) or maybe because my Mom keeps asking me to send her pictures for the book she's putting together or maybe because we watched the ceremony last night (for the first time). I'm a little bummed. I asked my friend/producing partner J to shoot the ceremony for us. He agreed but wasn't thrilled as he was bringing a date and didn't want to leave her "in the cold" as he ran around and worked. I told him it's no big deal...shoot it simply and no need to get "extra" stuff as Sarah's husband was gracious enough to do that. I just asked him to get the pre-music as I wouldn't get to hear it otherwise (my ...

Photo by Sarah Holden Photography

In other news.... I was browsing blogs using the NaBloPoMo (or whatever) randomizer this morning and my own blog came up! For some reason that made me very happy. No word on Grandma...waiting to hear. I'm checking the family message board (yes, we have one) regularly for updates but nothing yet this morning. *sigh*

Why is it when something GOOD happens, it is followed by something BAD? My Grandma R who was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer this August (? I think it was August, perhaps Sept?) was taken to the hospital this morning due to difficulty breathing. She is now going to be transferred to St. Mary's in Rochester as the docs in Faribault think it is due to her cancer. Apparently the x-rays look "really bad." *sigh* I know this is inevitable but I hate it no less for that reason.

Huh.... That was easy . I mean...really quite easy. I can't talk about it yet but the first official meeting for Super-Secret-Idea-#1 went SWIMMINGLY well. As in...I think it might actually possibly conceivably happen. With little hand wringing, swearing and tears. Huh. Bizarre. I don't even know how to feel right now. I cannot feel too happy (chickens & eggs hatching the whole cliche) and I am not sad (because clearly this has piqued the right interest in the right people with the right $) and I'm just sort of... Huh..... Stay tuned....

* When you drive into snow at night, it sort of looks like you're driving at warp speed. *I don't really like driving in snow all that much...but since I live in Minnesota I have to be pretty used to it by now. *I'm stumped on "what I want to be when I grow up" and you'd think I should be figuring that out now that I'm 'in my 30's' (egads) *A lot of people by crafts. A LOT. And most of them were at the big Autumn Festival Craft Sale at Canterbury Downs in Shakopee today. Including me. *I didn't buy a lot of crafts. I bought one little Christmas thing for $2.99 and a couple of gifts. *I don't like it when waitresses say "have a good evening" at 3pm. I know it's getting dark already but COME ON. That is all.

Do you ever get the feeling that people are talking about you? Or taking what you say the completely wrong way? Or laughing at you behind your back? Ever? Hmmm..... Maybe it's just me......

This is my friend Michelle. Michelle just bought a new car yesterday - a Pontiac Vibe. I am eagerly awaiting my first ride in it. YAY MICHELLE!!

The City of Duluth (my beloved town) is right now considering selling (and continuing to sell) off parcels of tax foreited lands. These are often lands that were once considered "protected" as their classification is conservation. Due to idiotic running of certain aspects of the city (*cough*retiree health care*cough*) we are ALL now going to pay. Not only with higher taxes but also losing our precious greenspace which makes Duluth such a beautiful and unique place. What's different about Duluth than most cities of it's size (86,000 pop)is it's geography and the fact that up to this point "sprawl" hasn't happened. Well, there is that little matter of the Miller Hill Mall region (gag) and our "suburb" (ha) Hermantown (sprawl is pretty much all it is). We have OLD old old neighborhoods and OLD old old houses - some are beautiful examples of Victorian masterpieces, some are shitholes that landlords have turned into barely habitable (and are of...

I had to pick this up while at the grocery store the other night because ooooooh how I love to drool and oogle all the latest holiday goodies & goodies to make from Ms. Stewart. My "to-do" list just got considerably longer!

From Megan You are The Star Hope, expectation, Bright promises. The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one. What Tarot Card are You? Take the Test to Find Out. (I don't usually post these type of things but I thought it was sort of nice so I did.)

Did you?

Last night Steve was MUGGED!!!!! He went to Fitger's Brewhouse (which is a old Brewery complex with shops, restaurants and bars in it) to pay back one of the guys that organized the camping trip last week. The guy works at the Brewhouse as a bartender. Steve was hanging out and chatting with him and some other guys at the bar. He went to the bathroom. There were 3 guys in there - two talking to one other. The other guy left. As Steve was washing his hands one guy grabbed Steve around the neck and the other guy HAD A KNIFE!!! They took his wallet - he had his birthday money in there (the check from my parents, a check from his Dad, and a $100 bill from his Mom - meant to be deposited yesterday but he ran out of time). And of course all his credit cards, driver's licenses, etc. They told him to go into a stall and kneel down and count to 200 before leaving. Then they ran out of there. Of course Steve ran straight back to the Brewhouse where they called security & the police. ...

I did something sort of stupid last week. Well, sort of stupid and sort of thoughtless and just well, not really like me. I started (continued, I should say) working on wedding thank-yous. I figured since I LIKE to do stuff like this I would do most of them and leave a few for Steve that I know he wants to write - to his parents, his best man, etc. No problem. Steve was gone on the camping-adventure-from-hell so I sat down with a nice cold diet coke, iTunes and a stack of cards, envelopes, addresses & gift list. I whizzed through almost all the gifts (cash/giftcards left to do) no problem. I tried to sprinkle "I's" and "we's" in as deemed appropriate but really I was wrong. After Steve got home I asked him if he wanted to read the thank-yous before I sealed them up and sent them off. He did. That night he took the stack to bed with him (riveting nighttime reading!) and read a few. 3. The next day I asked him if they were okay and he sort of had this look...

I don't know how or why these have to go so quickly. There is never enough time to get as many things done as you'd like. *sigh* The dinner party last night was a lot of fun. We ate, we drank, we played "Apples to Apples." Fun was had by all. The cheesecake & other foods went over very well and there're plenty of leftovers! Today we got up and started tackling all the dishes. Ay yi yi. That was a big project. This afternoon my friend Freya & her family stopped by for a visit as they were on their way through town heading back towards "the cities." It was so nice to see them. I hadn't seen her children since they were wee babies so this was great. More dishes, boiling a turkey carcass into fabulous turkey stock for future soups, a trip to the city's food composting site (ooh! Fun!), a hike in Chester Park with my husband and dinner at my mother-in-laws house. Now I'm home and just poured 18 cups of turkey stock into bags for freezing a...

My husband's birthday is on Halloween...and this year not only did that day fall on a Tuesday but also during his camping trip into the Boundary Waters. Oh he also got stranded there on his birthday this year due to crappy weather so...we're celebrating tonight! We had planned to have a dinner party anyway and thought we'd combine his birthday into this. I'm currently roasting a turkey in the oven and for as little as I like to touch (or even look or think about) raw meat, I got it into the oven with little drama. Sometimes there is a lot of drama! We're also having the usual "Thanksgiving" fixings - mashed (whipped! with the new KitchenAid Mixer!) potatoes, green bean casserole, glazed carrots, dinner rolls and for dessert - pumpkin cheesecake! I made this cheesecake last year for Steve upon request. It was my first cheesecake ever and I was nervous but it turned out really well. This year when I asked him what kind of cake he wanted he said "pumpkin...

Lately I have been consumed with daydreams. Good, wonderful, optimistic, creative daydreams. It's obvious to me that I have to make a change in my life. There are so many GREAT things in my life, so many wonderful things & people that I am very grateful for...but alas what I do every day leaves me unfufilled, bored, depressed, unchallenged and uninterested. It's hard to spend the bulk of my LIFE where I do. That being said - it's not terrible...there are good people, I have some fun and heck, it helps me pay the mortgage so it's not all bad. It's just not what I think I *should* be doing with my life. It's a rut. It's where I am right now. So, there are some super-secret ideas brewing. Some are dreams I've been chasing for many many years...some are new ideas that are intriguing and exciting to me. And scary. Heck it's all scary. It's hard to give up what you have but sometimes you have to to make things better in the long run. Nothing is DEF...

One of my favorite new "toys" that we got for our wedding. I'm looking to make a big pile of Christmas cookies this year. Wheeeeee! I love this thing!!

I just heard from Steve! The phone rang. "Stevie" came up on my screen. Yay! But there was nothing there. No sound. No crackle. Nothing. Still not good for my Hollywood-esque imagination. The phone rings again. "Stevie" again but this time with crackles. Still no voice. Disconnects. The third time the phone rings I hear my sweetie's voice! THANK GOD. "Are you okay??" The crackling is so loud and obtrusive to the conversation but I can make out that yes he's okay and he's so sorry to have made me and everyone else worry so much. They tried to paddle out yesterday but the weather had "turned to shit" and they were unable to leave! They were afraid if they tried paddling through the high waves that they wouldn't make it!!!! I'm glad they didn't try to be superheroes and stayed put even though it gave me an ulcer. He said he got a signal on Monday and was able to retrieve a message from me then but by yesterday everything was ...

I was hoping to have a lovely, witty, thought-provoking post all ready to go for the first day of "NaBloPoMo" but instead I'm distracted by my complete and utter lack of husband and I'm afraid that coupled with a terrible night's sleep is just not letting my brain produce anything more than this. Hopefully I will be back later with something better to say.