sympathy
A friend of mine from high school, K, and I have been in touch through the years - more recently that previously via email. God bless the internet. I have so enjoyed re-connecting with her and becoming good friends again.
I missed out on a good chunk of her life, and her mine but now we're catching up and I'm really enjoying it.
I knew she had an on again off again relationship with a guy for about 3 years. This guy didn't sound like he was all roses but some part of them really connected and through the ups and downs they were there for each other.
They had just started coming to terms with some crap that had gone on between them and starting on a new, fresh, clean page. The new year was arriving, things were stable and good and a strong friendship remained. They were even thinking of really giving it another go in a serious relationship format and seeing where it might lead.
The Wednesday after Christmas they spent a lovely evening together - I know they hung out and had great conversation - I picture romantic candlelight, something delish to eat, lots of laughter and hugs and a few kisses thrown in (although I don't actually know the details of the evening).
On Thursday morning his Dad disovered that he had passed away in his sleep.
There was no reason, a later autopsy revealed that it was acute sudden death syndrome - similar to SIDS in babies. No struggle, no pain just *poof* heart stopped. He was gone.
She's had a lot to deal with - the happy memories of their last fond night together, the relief that he didn't stay the night at her house on Wednesday and the following tide of guilt that accompanies it, the gut-wrenching gaping emptiness when she really thinks about his absence, the fond memories, the memories of the crap, his daughter and her loss and today the simple words "I miss him." It hit me so hard. I know there are phases of grief, and I think she's doing INCREDIBLY well with all this - but those simple words really hit home.
After all the brow-beating, wailing and evenings spent chain-smoking and/or drinking wine, I can imagine myself in her shoes and coming to that place where the utter emptiness and lonliness of the statement "I miss him" comes to light. It sends a shiver down my spine. I pray that I never have to have that feeling.
I've been trying to console and be there for her as much as I can via IM and internet. If you have a spare good universe vibe, could you send it her way? She's in SD.
Thanks.
Oh - and tell the person that you love, you love them. Kiss them. Hug them. Smile when they're making you cranky. Cherish every silly & mundane moment. Life's too short not to.
I missed out on a good chunk of her life, and her mine but now we're catching up and I'm really enjoying it.
I knew she had an on again off again relationship with a guy for about 3 years. This guy didn't sound like he was all roses but some part of them really connected and through the ups and downs they were there for each other.
They had just started coming to terms with some crap that had gone on between them and starting on a new, fresh, clean page. The new year was arriving, things were stable and good and a strong friendship remained. They were even thinking of really giving it another go in a serious relationship format and seeing where it might lead.
The Wednesday after Christmas they spent a lovely evening together - I know they hung out and had great conversation - I picture romantic candlelight, something delish to eat, lots of laughter and hugs and a few kisses thrown in (although I don't actually know the details of the evening).
On Thursday morning his Dad disovered that he had passed away in his sleep.
There was no reason, a later autopsy revealed that it was acute sudden death syndrome - similar to SIDS in babies. No struggle, no pain just *poof* heart stopped. He was gone.
She's had a lot to deal with - the happy memories of their last fond night together, the relief that he didn't stay the night at her house on Wednesday and the following tide of guilt that accompanies it, the gut-wrenching gaping emptiness when she really thinks about his absence, the fond memories, the memories of the crap, his daughter and her loss and today the simple words "I miss him." It hit me so hard. I know there are phases of grief, and I think she's doing INCREDIBLY well with all this - but those simple words really hit home.
After all the brow-beating, wailing and evenings spent chain-smoking and/or drinking wine, I can imagine myself in her shoes and coming to that place where the utter emptiness and lonliness of the statement "I miss him" comes to light. It sends a shiver down my spine. I pray that I never have to have that feeling.
I've been trying to console and be there for her as much as I can via IM and internet. If you have a spare good universe vibe, could you send it her way? She's in SD.
Thanks.
Oh - and tell the person that you love, you love them. Kiss them. Hug them. Smile when they're making you cranky. Cherish every silly & mundane moment. Life's too short not to.
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