Naturally Optimistic

Seems like the only thing I'm updating on this blog these days is my reading list. ha. Which is sort of funny. At least to me. Still reading a lot. In fact, since I've started working I'm reading a lot more. I'm not used to having a full hour, once a day, in which to simply eat lunch & read. I will take it! I miss blogging though. I miss writing. I miss catching up with my friends in real life via their blogs & my friends in cyberspace via their blogs. *sigh*  I long for a time when I have time to sit down & recap my weekends or show my projects or simply vent. Maybe I'll get there someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I miss having this be my "journal" my diary of my life complete with photos. This is the least I've written on this blog in the past 8 years of its existence. It makes me sad. So many things about who I am/was in my past have simply vanished. Or maybe not vanished but "re-invented." But many of those thin...

....just buried under books. Ah yes, I started my new job as a Library Technician a couple weeks ago. So far - it's great! It is amazing to work at a place that is philanthropic in nature; that promotes learning & research; that doesn't discriminate who has access to information. It is a whole different world that working in the corporate arena & I am enjoying it immensely. I am working in the Circulation department which in the most basic of terms is the place where you check books out. There is so much BEYOND that but I don't have time to get into it right now. I had no clue how much goes into running a library. No. Clue. But I am learning. I work at the main library downtown, but soon I will be working 2 days a week at the Mt. Royal Branch (my "neighborhood" library) and 3 days downtown. I think I will enjoy the variety a lot. It is also amazing to be surrounded by so many other people who love reading & books as much as I do. During one o...

I just love it when I feel like I got a "good deal" at a garage sale - or several sales. I am not *that* into them, but I do enjoy going & finding good deals now & then. Particularly for kids clothes. Especially for kids PLAY clothes. So, I'm willing to take a peak now & again to see what people have to offer. My friend Elizabeth invited me along today & at first I turned her down. Then on second thought I said "why not?" The only downside was how hot it was today. Made getting in & out of the car with the two kiddos less enjoyable. But let's see what treasures I found shall we?  Two purses - I know, I know. Who REALLY needs more purses. But actually I kind of do. I have been using the same bag (which I love) for a few years now & I use it all the time. It's not too professional or dressy looking (but it can hold 3 water bottles, diapers, my book, assorted princesses, etc). So the one of the left is a bit fun & casual,...

I was so excited. I messaged my babysitter for this morning (incidentally, my cousin Anna) to ask if she could come a half an hour earlier. She could! That would give me a full hour after leaving my house & before my first appointment. My plan: Take the laptop, head to McDonalds for cheap food & free wifi & limitless diet coke and BLOG!! Well, I'm here. But I had to get August out of the high chair & get him cleaned up before I left the house. I also was in the middle of wiping counter tops & putting away breakfast stuff. So didn't leave until probably 9:10am. Then, had to drop off my yarn & pick up the new yarn for the day. That was quick but I probably spent 4 minutes trying to find the parking ticket that I need to pay from last week in my mess of a purse. I thought maybe I could just stop at the police station & pay it since I was downtown & kidless. That's no longer an option apparently. Okay, now 5 minutes wasted. Travel time to M...

Are you enjoying all the blog posts I've been writing...in my head? *sigh* I've even been taking photos. I swear, one of these days I'll have a brain to write again.

I had a moment of profound sadness this morning while lying in bed. I was thinking of my upcoming trip to the grocery store. I was thinking that I am so bored with the current repetoire and I need to try some new recipes. Then I started thinking about my favorite cookbook - Hollyhocks & Radishes. This got me thinking about a conversation I had with my mother-in-law and her sister (my aunt-in-law?) last year about this time. The three of us had begun to meet up a few times, every couple of weeks or so for Happy Hour. It was a fun time when I really felt like I was getting to know the both of them a bit better. On a more personal & adult level. Without husbands, significant others or children around, the conversation was often different and more intimate that I had experienced with these two incredible women before. I enjoyed those times immensely. We started talking about the aforementioned cookbook as Joan (A-I-L) had given it to me at a bridal shower she hosted for me. I...

Got the official kiss-off today from (yet another) film festival. I was expecting this as I hadn't heard past the "you're in the 2nd round - congrats" email I got a couple weeks ago. The festival is only a month away so my expectations had dwindled. I don't know why this rejection hits me harder. Maybe because their selection process is more transparent; maybe because I would've loved to show my film in LA and see my old friends & stomping grounds; maybe because I'm just getting tired of rejections. Ah well...on to the next, I guess.

I forgot to mention - conveniently August had his 2 year check up today so I didn't have to make a special appointment for his fever/crabbiness (which I probably wouldn't have and then he would've just been really ornery and I wouldn't have known why). His official stats: Height - 32" (4th percentile) Weight - 21lbs, 12.5oz (1st percentile) Lead test came back normal - HOORAY!

August's 2nd Birthday Party was a success! We ended up having it at the hotel my folks were staying at. That worked out great because it was handicapped accessible - both of my in-laws were able to attend - yay! It also worked really nicely because there was so much space. Way more than our house. We just had a simple party in the breakfast area of the hotel. I brought in the food with a little help from my Mom & that was about it. The kids loved having the space to run around & also loved taking a dip in the pool afterwards. They get so wound up when they're all together! Wow.  August got a lot of really cool new toys. He's been having so much fun playing with this new "Wheelie" sets (from Auntie Sam & Grandma Carolyn) and with the mega bloks (from Grandma & Grandpa Rossow). He also got other trucks & vehicles from Auntie Allison & Auntie Kathy. He's in heaven! I'm even stashing a gift of Duplo blocks which I *plan* ...

Oh August. My sweet child. My short tempered child. My child who adores his sister and loves his alone time with Mama when she's away. My boy who could be outside all hours of the day & night. For whom we are currently fencing in the backyard because he is an escape artist awaiting opportunity. My August. Today is your birthday. Two years old? How can this be? How can it feel like you just arrived and yet feel like I've known you forever? How can time bend and contort in such a way. Years of sleep deprivation? Perhaps. Getting to know your unique personality? Yes. Being so in love with you that I literally could consume your very being? Definitely. You're such a big boy these days. Climbing up the playground structures like they're nothing higher than the couch. Which happens to make me a little nervous. I try to stand back and watch. See how you figure things out, accept help (or not) from your big sister, fall, get up, try again. I try to only step i...

I'm up & ready to go this morning to take the Civil Servant test for Duluth. It's for a library job that I applied for back in December (they're timely, eh?). The libraries here in Duluth are open a lot more hours this year which is AWESOME which also means they are hiring a bunch of people. I guess the deluge of applicants for both librarians and library techs was overwhelming. So, now it's April. Anyway - I haven't taken a test in about a million years. I hope I remember what to do & act accordingly. In other news, no more news from the festival which makes me think that we are not getting in. I know they notify the ones that get in before they notify the ones that don't....so the longer the worse off, I guess. Ugh. In other other news - it's August's 2nd birthday today! I hope to have time later to post some cute pics of him recently. He's such a cutie-pie. I could eat him up daily...and I usually do! Okay- better not be late for the...

I am waiting to find out if THE LIFE OF RILEY has gotten into a film festival. I have played this game before. Many times. But this time...it just feels right. Maybe it feels right every time. Maybe that's why I am considered an optimist. This time I got an email saying that we made it to the "2nd Round" and that they will be deciding soon. Maybe the reason it didn't work out for me to go to Austin to do a show is because we'll get into this festival & then I'll go to LA for a week. Wouldn't that be fun...? Yes. So waiting. Obsessively checking email as they are past the "notify" date (but they said they would be). Waiting although I know they probably won't have things settled til May 1st. Waiting. Ugh! Waiting!! ( 2 years ago at this time I was waiting for something entirely different!)

Well, my reliving my yesterdays fantasy will remain that. A fantasy. It's just not going to work. Because of money. I cannot give up this job that I've found to chase a silly dream. Ultimately it's not worth it. *sniff* Plus I really don't know how we could've gotten by without my paycheck for the ensuing month anyway. It's still fun to think about. To imagine it. I think I would've really enjoyed taking a break from my normal life for a bit. And yeah, part of me longs to be in the limelight again, I won't lie. On to the next dream...whatever that will be.

So the other day I was watching THE SOUND OF MUSIC with Dahlia. Dahlia has been really digging it since we went to a production of it back in December here in Duluth. It helped that she knew Captain Von Trapp (& has a huge crush on him, I must add) and one of the nuns. We've been singing along to the music on Pandora & when we saw the DVD at the library on Friday she put back the others she had picked out to get that one. Ahhh, a child after my own heart. And we watched. She did pretty good (although we have yet to get through the end). The movie chokes me up. Quite literally. I am a mess. Mostly because it reminds me of a time when I spent a lot of my time on stage performing. The music is almost too much for me at times & I had to leave the room on more than one occasion so Dahlia wouldn't wonder what was wrong with me. Ha! (I'm sure she wonders sometimes!). I posted a remark on Facebook about it making me melancholy & almost immediately one of my old ...

Well, due to overwhelming demand (one comment) from  my reader, I just wanted to let you know, this space has not been abandoned. It's just on unofficial hiatus, I guess. I write blog posts by the...uh...tens in my head. None of them seem to make it here. I take photos of things I'm going to blog about. And then don't. I'm just so incredibly busy right now. 100% of the time. I am working 2 jobs from home while watching the munckins (full time, daycare/pre-school ended for us this past week - waaaaaah!). My house is a disaster zone, I'm stressed out by all the piles & piles & piles every day...but hey, right now it's where I'm at (read: I'm trying not to get too stressed out about everything so I'll leave it at that). Potential blog posts coming soon: My Book Club - reviews of the first 6 books Pinterest February/March challenge Yarn! Yarn! Yarn! WTF am I doing with my life? (sorry for the abbreviated swearing, Mom) And others. I...

...in the form of a DVD going out which someone bought (yay), a bill (boo), a rebate (yay) and a silly postcard to my folks. Such is the exciting life of my mail....

I love that this year's "CAOK" theme is correspondence. Yay! I'm a big fan, myself. Always have been. I've recently been writing/receiving letters & postcards again from my penpal of 30 YEARS! Yes, that's right! We started writing to each other when we were 8. We got each other's info off a show on PBS called "The Big Blue Marble" - I don't remember anything about that show except it was on Sunday mornings & at the end you could write in for a pen pal. 30 years later & voila! Still writing. It's amazing. I've met him twice. It's been a cool experience - one that could use several blog posts of it's own! So this week I've written to my Grandma & dear Kelli who started this all. I also just wrote 6 postcards so I can continue my nerdy "Project Postcard" ...uh, project. I still have a lOT of postcards to unleash on the world! Are you doing any corresponding?

It's one of my favorite times of year! CAOK or "Calculated Acts of Kindness" is something that Kelli coordinates every year. It's been so fun over the years to "play along." I don't always get 46 activities in, but it's a good reminder to stop, think & be thoughtful during this "reawakening" time of year. So - I'm playing along! I invite you too!

No go with the job I had two interviews with this month. I woud've really liked it (I think). I would've been working in the arts (albeit in a administrative format). I would've had an office . *sigh* C'est la vie. On to the next. So far 6 rejections in 2 months. 5 more applications pending. Needless to say I've started to take friends & family up on the offer to look over my resume & cover letter. Starting to feel like  a failure. That is inevitable, I think. No matter how positive one can be. *sigh* Also rejected by SXSW yesterday. Within 2 weeks of their announce date which means once again we were *close* but not quite good enough. *sigh*

I have been meaning to make some "Owlies" (my self-named stuffed owl toys) (okay, so that's what I'm calling them in my head. I'm too lazy to do a google search to see if someone is already calling them out that out there). Anyway - I LOVE owls  & since August's room's theme is "Owls" I always have my eye on them. Owl ornaments, owl pillows, owl lovies, you get the idea. There are oodles of owls all over Pinterest & Etsy which is fantastic. But I wanted to make my own. So that maybe I could use up some upholstery fabric & some wool I felted & sell them. In my Etsy shop. Who knows, but why not, right? The supplies are staring me in the face & I'm not exactly gainfully employed at this point (except by a couple of tiny employers who only pay in hugs & kisses, which I gladly accept, but they do not pay the mortgage, sadly). So, I drew a "pattern" (really, I chuckle when I say that) & cut it out ...