Naturally Optimistic

my brain is so scattered its amazing I can even throw a load of laundry into the machine. So much for me being SO PRODUCTIVE today. hmph.

Why must artists be so tempermental? I mean really. Festival A sent back a very long and almost nasty email back to Jason after we ditched it. For the first time EXPLAINING things that probably would've made us feel a lot better about the festival to begin with! WTF? Now they are PISSY and demanding a RETRACTION (um, to whom?) and saying that this was "defamation" (um, I've never had a legit festival ask me for $$ - other than a submission fee before). Yeah, Fishy. Whatever. I refuse to let it get me riled up. My choice would be to not respond at all. But of course Jason's response is "we're at war now." Does it have to be so dramatic? Maybe this is why I'm not a "real" artist. *sigh*

Well, we pulled out of Festival A. Officially. After MUCH MUCH MUCH hemming & hawing, seeking advice from mentor-types, polling everyone we knew and ultimately relying on our own guts. Not sure if this will help or hurt us, but I figure if BOTH of us have yucky feelings about it, then it's probably not worth it. Now we're looking into scheduling a trip to LA in May or early June to do some casting for the film I'm directing THE LIFE OF RILEY. We're hoping to get a "name" of some sort as that's the only way these days to get decent festival play and/or distribution. Sad but true. Hopefully Festival B will come calling, if not, c'est la vie. I've learned to not get my hopes up (or crushed) by and for these festivals. My heart was already broken once this year, so I think I'm good for that. Meanwhile - anyone know any "celebs" who have time off late summer/early fall and would like to shoot a ultra-low budget film with me? We're ...

Well, I finally did it. I started that food/recipe blog. I needed to make a list of all the recipes we eat on a regular basis, was considering doing that in excel, and then when Anonymous suggested a food blog, it all clicked. I can have all my favorite recipes in one place. That way when Steve and I are disgruntled about dinner, at least we have a list we can consult. So I present to you: What's Carrie Cooking? Soon to be filled with more recipes for main courses, beverages, desserts, etc...but I'm just getting started so don't be too harsh on me yet. If I use a recipe you've posted on your site, I will credit you. If I don't, please let me know so I can rectify the situation! Bon Appetit!

Ugh - rainy, drizzly, cloudy, cold. It feels more like fall than spring. I'm trying to get motivated to get things picked up and DONE around here, but it's very difficult in the doom & gloom. Blech. I hate it when things get to the "overwhelming point." I don't know what my problem is but I can't seem to get anything ACCOMPLISHED. I think about how great it would be to do this, make that, read this, watch that, exercise, create, etc and instead I don't even know WHAT I do. It gets depressing. The other depressing thing? Why is it that I don't feel like I fit in ANYWHERE. What is up with that? Everywhere I go I feel out of place. WTF? Where did this lack of confidence come from? It's annoying but I am somehow a slave to it. See, blechy weather, blechy attitude. At least I have this week's meal plan done. Something accomplished I guess.

The festival is done, for us. We had a great turnout last night- we didn't sell out the house, but we were close. It was full of friends, family & complete strangers! It was very interesting to hear people's reactions through the film - where they laughed, where the gasped and where a few walked out. The Q&A was awesome. Jim Northrup really just nailed it and the audience, of course, loved him (he also introduced the film). The party afterward was also a great success. Lots of mingling and chatting. I got to see a lot of friends that I haven't seen in ages which was really great. I didn't have long enough to chat with EVERYONE which was frustrating and I felt a bit flighty as I jumped from convo to convo (sort of felt like I did at my wedding). THANK YOU to everyone who came out! The support was amazing and it really made it a great night. On to the next!

Just wanted to let you all know about our screening this weekend....a reminder, if you will.... WHITE MAN'S WORLD "World Premiere" Friday, April 24th 9:15pm St. Anthony Main Theater 115 Main Street - Minneapolis Party afterward at Pracna (right next door!) Here's what the press are saying: ‘Hilarious and irreverent, with a boon of quotable lines and scenes.’ -Christa Lawler, DNT ‘Page plays the perfect and effective, arrogant ignoramus.’ -Lana Leeper, The Reader ✭✭✭½ out of ✭✭✭✭ ‘A funny, vulgar and smart film about filmmaking.’ -Erik McClanahan, Vita.mn ‘Delightfully Offensive.’ -John Ervin, City Pages ‘Fearless.’ -Max Sparber, MNArtists.org It's not a film for everyone (ie: my mother) but we're getting great reviews and it would be awesome to pack the house! Hope to see you there!

Last night I went to Anna's for Stitch & Bitch (Hi Anna!). While there we saw Andrea who moved into our old house. She invited me over to take a peek at the old digs. It looks really great! It has changed quite a bit - well, just paint & window coverings, but it's amazing what a difference that makes. Obviously things are set up a little different and the furniture is different etc. It was different enough to make me not feel bad about being there (because man, do Steve & I both still love that little house). She put new carpet (THANK GOD!) on the stairs and upstairs in two of the bedrooms & the hallway. The only disappointing things to me were that the window coverings are gone - all of them. I would've gladly kept them. In fact the ones in Dahlia's room I searched & searched for. They were longish drapes and I loved how soft & pretty (tan) they were. I haven't been able to find anything like them to put in her new room. And they were gone....

Here's the latest quandry... GOD ROCKED is in Festival A in Hollywood next month. It is kind of small, lame festival - okay, there I said it. I'm happy to have a *free* screening in Hollywood but other than that I'm LESS than impressed with how this festival is being run (another story), where it's held, etc. Festival B just contacted me last night saying that they're VERY interested in showing GOD ROCKED. They are also in LA. They are a well established festival (medium sized?), playing in a MUCH better location, potential for the "right" people to see it higher...but they want LA PREMIERES which excludes us from Festival A. I don't know if I should withdraw from Festival A on the hopes of getting in Festival B (in June) or what. Any advice?

Our little misfit movie White Man's World has been gaining traction in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. Getting a lot of good reviews & press about the upcoming screening at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Int'l Film Festival. It's nice to get some validation outside of our little bubble that is Duluth. You can check out some of the articles here: CityPages Vita.Mn MNArtists.org Star Tribune Amazing to me is the fact that although we're getting such good press (and a slew of personal emails from reviewers, programmers, PR people, etc) I still feel so incredibly crappy when a friend of mine tells me that my mother is right and he 'hates' the film too (although he hasn't seen it - wtf?) and that I'd be worried about my name being attached to it. *sigh* It wasn't my favorite film to make. It was hard, I felt bad a lot of the time. It's not the project I'm proudest of...but isn't that okay? Isn't that what making art boils down to? Some hits,...

I'm finally mostly caught up on emails, messages, paying bills etc...so time for a little vacation recap: Saturday - we flew from Duluth to Mpls then to Tampa. We were nervous about Dahlia...but she did great! Peek-a-boo with the passengers behind us, fell asleep on the runway on the 'long' flight...woke up in a great mood & enjoyed the Sky Mall catalog. Got to the island around dinner time...so didn't do much. Picked up a few supplies, ate dinner, marveled at how warm it was (& humid!) and that was it. Sunday - Rained all night - thunderstorms. It rained on Sunday too - but not too much. We went for a walk with Grandpa H. We went to the beach. We swam in the pool. Dahlia LOVED the pool. A lot. Monday - I'm sure we went for a walk & we went swimming (amazing how fast it becomes hazy!). Oh yes, Steve & I walked with Dahlia on the beach. We saw lots of beautiful birds. We went swimming in the ocean - Dahlia had no fear, would've crawled right in ha...

vacation is exhausting...particularly with a toddler...one that gets sick. Ay yi yi! I feel like I need a vacation from vacation! Dahlia's fine. She just had a little bug, no biggie. But it made her very hot, whiny & clingy. Oh well, we got through it. She traveled *fairly well* except for our Tampa-Detroit flight but again, we made it through. I'm in the process of getting photos & video uploaded and will have more soon. In the meantime...one of my favorites from the trip: